my many neuroses…

I swear, next time I get sick, I’m going to the doctor. I’m finally feeling better – I ran 5 miles on the treadmill tonight at the gym, but I have seriously been sick for a week now and it’s getting really old.

I have this neurosis about going to the doctor – it makes no sense, but to me it’s like admitting failure. I tell myself I can tough it out, and that it’s good for my body to fight off infection the natural way as opposed to taking antibiotics every time I get a sniffle. But this is ridiculous.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I’m taking the day off before my hopefully-12-mile-run on Saturday. I’m just going to wait and see how I feel. I figure I can do 11 at the very least.

At any rate, the run I did tonight felt good, even thought I was still pretty congested. I just couldn’t wait any longer. I was getting sick of laying around being sick!

Neurosis #2: earlier this week, a friend mentioned that she ran 13 miles “accidentally” in an hour and 55 minutes, “and even stopped to go the bathroom!”

Ugh.

I told her how great that was and that I was proud of her, but on the inside it totally made me feel gross and jealous, especially because I was really down about not being able to run myself. I told my husband about it, and he was like, “it doesn’t matter! Just focus on yourself and don’t worry about what other people do.”

I know he’s right, but jeez. This friend is always telling me about how much she runs and how fast she is – and I can’t help but feel like she’s bragging. She knows she is faster than me. As I runner, I know we ALL are really into logging mileage and setting records, and, yeah, it feels REALLY good when you have a long run that is easy and you feel like all your hard work is paying off, but where do you draw the line between sharing and gloating?

I’m just going to let this be a lesson to me, and I’m going to be really careful in the future not to brag about my own running accomplishments, lest it sound like bragging to someone else…

To quote one of my favorite songs, I’ll probably get hit by a car anyway… šŸ™‚

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