A word to the wise…

One more thing about bunions and then I’ll shut up.

Don’t google “bunion surgery” unless you want to throw up. seriouslyomgwtf. I’m about to barf up my Indonesian peanut saute. This from a girl who found The Hills Have Eyes delightful and funny. But apparently I draw the line at toe surgery photos.

My hubby’s mom had her bunions shaved off about 10 years ago and she was pretty much bedridden for 2 weeks. She had to sleep on the couch because she couldn’t even crawl up the stairs. I was thinking maybe they’ve made some exciting new advancements in the field of bunion removal, but I’m told that no, they pretty much do the same thing they’ve always done – flay open your foot, grind off the bone with a belt sander and then send you on your merry way. Sometimes they get a little sand-happy and just end up offing your whole foot. (Maybe.)

Anyway, I had a fantastic run last night with my fast friends in Eagle Creek Park, despite my elbow-feet. We did about 6.5 miles in 56 minutes. Another record for me! (Does a PR count if you’re not in an official race?) I swear, I couldn’t possibly run that fast by myself. To hell with Red Bull, my HOMIES give me wings.

Then we immediately canceled out the run by going to a watering hole down the street to scarf pizza and beer. Win! I only run to counteract my drinking problem. Seriously. We didn’t even drink any water. We sat in the back corner so no one would be bothered by our offensive body odor. We were a sight – three disheveled 30-somethings in running gear, chugging beer and laughing like lunatics.

Anyhoo, you can imagine how great I was feeling this morning. Sore from running and sore from drinking. Tonight I’ll be taking it easy at the gym.

Peace out yall.

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2 thoughts on “A word to the wise…

  1. And by don’t google bunion surgery you meant search google images for bunion surgery right? Because I did. Although there is not much photographic evidence of this disgusting surgery, there is an extensive showcase of feet far more disgusting than yours. So I suggest image searching that up and you’ll feel a whole lot better.

    • fake god bless you for your kind words. yeah – I saw those nasty twisted toes but with my cynical pessimistic attitude toward life I just saw me in 10 years. But I still don’t know what I did before google image search. Probably just banged my head against the cave walls a lot.

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