Spoiler alert: if you are my mom or anyone else who may be offended by candid discussions about bodily functions, you probably shouldn’t read this post.
Okay, for anyone who’s still reading, let’s continue…
My first day of work was pretty terrific…aside from all of the paper work, overload of information and orientation activities.
I have a cute, little office all my own — this is a big deal as it is my first work space that contains a door. (And now that I have one, my door policy is going to be: “CLOSED.” Just kidding!)
But seriously, I am going to ROCK communications and marketing for this company. I couldn’t be happier.
So, a good day except for the debilitating bout of, er, dyspepsia that struck me immediately after consuming half a can of Amy’s Lentil Soup, which I enthusiastically packed into an insulated lunch sack this morning along with some Puffins and a spinach slurpy. (Shame I don’t still have my Care Bears thermos and lunch box.)
Yeah, I’m a dork. But I never claimed not to be.
Everything was going just fine until I was about 10 minutes into my soup and started feeling some minor discomfort that progressed into awful, bent-over, wrenching abdominal cramps. It was THE worst upset stomach I’ve ever had aside from food poisoning. This was not just a little casual gas, folks; I mean, little beads of sweat broke out on forehead.
It lasted pretty much the rest of the day, despite drinking hot Passion tea and water like it was going out of style.
Naturally, I came home and tried to misdiagnose myself via WebMD. Turns out it could be anything from gas to peptic ulcers to cancer. (Yeah, that peptic ulcer photo has nothing to do with peptic ulcers but it came up on Google image search and it was much easier to look at than all the other peptic ulcer photos.)
Undaunted, I chomped two cherry flavored Gas-X and headed out for a five-mile run. For some reason I thought it wasn’t cold outside and I didn’t wear enough gear. My body was okay but my ears were frooooozen. The sweat on my head froze and I had little chunks of frost in my hair and eyebrows! But for some reason, I felt as if some otherworldly force was propelling me…hmmm…at any rate, I feel much better now. Maybe all I needed was a long hard run.
Anyhoo, I’m sooo warm now and I’m about to go watch Idol and do as many crunches and PBs as I can muster!
Tonight: 360 crunches and 20 PBs