awesome ways to die

No really — I was nearly killed almost a dozen times today! (I might be exaggerating a wee bit.)

So, I’ve just left work and I’m sitting in my car at a red light about a block from my office, with my windows down and my system up, when a wasp flies RIGHT into my car.

Now, I’m not the sort to panic, but I’ll admit I did let out a dainty little blood-curdling scream and nearly quit the car while it was still in Drive. It’s a good thing I don’t work in one of those fields were I have to make snap, life-altering decisions. Like surgery? Wouldn’t bode well for me. The patient either.

Then, the next red that I caught, like FIFTY blocks later, it almost happened again! Luckily I saw the wasp and raised my window just in time. (Although I am writing Honda and asking them to consider a speed-window option on their 2011 model; it was a close call. That critter practically hit the glass.)

Hey Indy: what’s up with wasps right now? I know wasps aren’t part of the apocalyptic folklore (despite my irreverent demeanor, I have read the Bible in it’s entirety), so what gives??

I don’t think I’ve ever been stung by a wasp before, so I don’t know if I’m allergic, but, top of my fear list is bugs that fly. (In Mexico, they have these giant airborne cockroaches — not cool.)

Anyhoo, after the unpleasantness, I got home in one piece and donned my running gear and my husband’s iPod (hello 80s butt rock!) and headed out the door.

I have found THE best running route in my neighborhood. It’s about 6.5 miles there and back and the halfway point is a hospital — perfect!

There is one dangerous stretch along a busy two-lane road with a narrow shoulder where nice people slow down and mean people speed up and blow past you while shouting obscenities out the window. So I could either have be killed by an errant vehicle or shot as a result of flipping off the wrong a-hole driver. (Again, I’m probably exaggerating — no worries, mom.)

I didn’t feel bad at all taking the side entrance into the hospital, using their bathroom and having a guzzle at the water fountain. If anyone tried to kick me out, I was going to say, “oh, so you’d rather pick me up later when I get heat stroke on the way home?”

I’m such a stinker.

The run was decent; not great. My right leg had a case of the deads for the first mile and hurt in the weirdest place — the outside of my calf. It’s never hurt there before. But I started feeling good and by the time I got to my hospital turn-around, I was cruisin’. I still think the little pit stop made all the difference.

I don’t take pee breaks when I run in real races, but they are fair game on practice runs (in case that information settles a bet for any of you).

And now, I gotta motor but I thought I’d leave you with some photos from the last couple of days.

Me before the 15k — still sporting last night’s makeup, KELLY. πŸ™‚

Me AFTER the 15k, sporting my Ace ice wrap and a Yeti Imperial Stout (9.5% ABV).

Post-race dinner — your little porkchop and her man had porkchops and white chedder mac and cheese.

Random dude sporting an epic mullet —

Funny note my husband left me this morning —

Dinner tonight: epic guac (I swear there’s avocado down there somewhere)

Dessert: Sierra Nevada harvest wet-hop ale. MMMM. (And my running socks, grossy.)

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9 thoughts on “awesome ways to die

  1. Wasps–dislike button…err…wrong site! And I remember those massive flying TX cockroaches. I had one on my wall once. I about had a stroke or maybe I just cowered in the corner in the fetal position until it went far, far away! And the epic guac looks fantastic!

    • dude I know! I’m such a baby I can’t even kill them! We had a wasp nest under a duct on the back of the house last week too. Matt sprayed a shitload of that wasp killer right up into it though and we haven’t seen any more. (Lowes!)

  2. I had the Mullet O’ Doom in about 1989. I’ll give you a hint: lots of gel and 1″ spikes. And sadly, mine still wasn’t the most impressive in my high school. Another dude a year younger came along and did the same thing – but his hair was even longer in the back.

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