because there’s nothing more rewarding than self-deprecation

WEEE! I spent a good hour today at brightroom.com looking up all the finish-line photos of races past. They still had the very first half marathon I ran back in 2007 all the way up to the halfer this past May.

It’s helpful when strolling down memory lane to have a drink in your hand, thus I am currently slugging back a glass of Mikkeller barley wine style ale in a cute little tasting glass.

Here we go.

#1: 2007 500 Festival Mini Marathon

I wore a cotton t-shirt (loling @ how inexperienced I was– wearing COTTON for a 13.1 mile run). I had to lose the shirt when we hit the track midway through the race, having dumped a cup of water down my back that added about five pounds of weight onto me.

You can’t really tell in the photo, but I was pretty damn dehydrated. I was trying to be “tough” (read: stupid) by not stopping at the water stations. Also note the high beams; something that plagues me in nearly every race. I finished in 2:29, having waited in line to pee at the porto-johns outside the Speedway.

#2: 2007 Indianapolis Half Marathon

I almost didn’t put this one in — it’s probably the worst photograph of me ever taken. But I figured what the hell, everybody sweats right? On the bright side: I look rad without makeup and I’ll probably never be that tan again.

This was probably my toughest race. I was wearing shoes that were a size too small and this was my first course with hills. I had to stop and stretch a few times. 2:36.

#3: 2008 500 Fest Mini

I finally discovered the wonderful world of technical fabrics. Training went well this time around but I was still fighting with my body and had not mastered the art of listening to what its telling me and pacing myself. I finish in around 2:24, really only subtracting the time it took me to pee in the previous year’s 500 Fest. I continue the tradition of rocking the Pained Runner Look.

#4: 2008 Indianapolis Half Marathon

I get my revenge on the Indy Half; the price I pay is a severe case of chafe in a brand-new pair of running shorts. This one reminds me of how desperately I was trying to look cool so I can actually have a decent finish line photo in my album of spectacularly BAD finish line photos. Again, somewhere in the neighborhood of 2:30 — but I shave six minutes off of last year’s catastrophic failure, so I’m happy.

P.S. Am I a supinator or WHAT? I think that’s going to be my super hero name from now on.

#5: 2009 Monumental Half Marathon

After nearly a year-long hiatus due to a sprained ankle, my comeback run is a nice, flat fast course in downtown Indy. I’m feeling rather self-conscious about my weight gain, thus the cropped pants instead of my usual running shorts. I’ve given up on trying to look cool and I’m just trying to finish. I still apparently haven’t learned that gray shirts accentuate sweat. You know how long it took me to finish.

#6: 2010 500 Fest

Revisiting my old friend, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. I have a look on my face that says, “I’m not too impressed with you either, Speedway,” but in actuality, I cannot believe how good I feel midway through the race, especially since the first 5k was pure agony and I’m trying to make up for lost time. But I’ll be damned if I don’t feel spectacular. See how I’m even getting checked out by that guy behind me? He’s picking up on my aura of unbridled enthusiasm. I’m remembering why I love to run. I PR in 2:21.

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21 thoughts on “because there’s nothing more rewarding than self-deprecation

  1. I like the 2008 Mini. It’s the perfect blonde-girl Elvis sneer. Or, the looking over your shoulder to spurn your ex-lover look. Or, the reaction to the bleeding nipples look.

  2. Nice retrospective. Half makes me want to dig out some horrible running pictures and laugh.

    But the other half of me is sane.

    (Ok, its not.)

      • I could! Though the facial expression in many of my pictures is the killer.

        You know my real name so…you could easily go onto Brightroom and discover this if you were so inclined. My friend dubbed this look the “birthing a bowling ball” face.

  3. I love this idea for a post. I might have to borrow it. πŸ™‚

    Honestly though, the camera seems pretty kind to you! Aside from the sneer (which is pretty funny), you look so relaxed and normal in your race pics!

    • Cripes. Here I was hoping you were making some sort of reference to an inadequately healed piercing bouncing around too much.

      I suppose almost all of my workout shirts are dark colors, though. Eesh.

      • oh no. It’s totally a runner’s (usually MALE runners) rite of passage. The fun part is that you never know how many miles it takes — so every time you run, you risk chafing.

        Remember that old Pee Wee Herman PSA about smoking crack!? I’m thinking someone should dub over that a PSA about nipple chafe. WHO’S WITH ME? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEGywhma69E

      • Chafing? I had somehow come all the way around to bleeding nipples as in trying-to-nurse-my-vampire-baby.

        I already have some experience with that particular problem, courtesy of childhood summers at the lake and wave-riding on canvas floats. Amazingly it takes a good long time before you suddenly notice “holy hell, my nipples are on fire!!!”

  4. hahaha great pics, I love looking at old pics, mostly from the 400 m finishes in high school, but I always look like I’m either about to fall flat on my face and die or vomit. Good times.

  5. Great pictures! Loved the recap! I am also jealous that you ran the Indy half as I have severe almost life treatening crush on Peyton Manning! haha!

  6. I have been saving my best running story for a time when I could tell it well, but it has something to do with people handing tongue depressors with a blob of Vaseline on he end…I didn’t know what it was for…until I saw someone applying it to their…you know…

    Ew.

    Love the photos. This last one of mine was the best ever for me…but I knew it was coming so I pretended that I felt good.

  7. Pingback: Consider this a challenge: « Anti-blogger.

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