throwing up is classy

Last night I was full of energy and dying to get out of work so I could run. For one thing, there wasn’t any rain in the forecast for the first time this week (just sweltering hot and humid, so, much better). Also, Tuesday’s easy run gave me a nice, big fat burst of confidence — something I haven’t had in a while.

So, what do I do? I come home, fall down, break my neck, and I’m writing to you from the hospital right now with a tube down my throat and a morphine drip. Yes, it’s a miracle I can still type. Aren’t you lucky.

Okay that didn’t happen. I did do the Jillian Shred and then ran/walked a couple miles. Legs? Fine. Feet? Goooood. Arms? Gonna be hurtin’ tomorrow.

I also started working on an actual training plan for the marathon. My official 16 weeks doesn’t start for another month, but that gives me just enough time to try to get back into the 5-6 mile range for my short runs, and as for the long runs….well, I’ll just worry about them when the time comes.

(tiny! you can click to see it enlarged)

It seems too easy…running just three times a week? And a 12 minute pace? But a friend told me about this customizable training program at So I plugged in my last half-marathon time and it shat out a marathon pace of somewhere around 12 minutes. My half-marathon pace was just under an 11 minute mile and I can do a sub-10 on shorter runs, but 12…sad as it is…sounds realistic for me. Certainly, I’ll try to stick to a 10 minute pace but worst case scenario, I run a 4:48 marathon and that will still be spectacular.

I’m also stoked because I found a 20 mile race I can run in Indy on September 26 — which is damn near perfect timing.

A few other races I’m considering:

July 3: 4.5 miles
July 31: 8k
August 14: 5 miles
Sept 11: 10k
Oct 29: 3 miler (funsies — the annual Halloween run)

There aren’t a whole lot of summer races to choose from — most of the events are 5ks and stupid triathlons. Sorry to all you triathletes out there; I don’t hate you, I just think your sport is stupid. Run, bike AND swim? It’s like what my uncle said about bisexuals once: “why don’t you just make up your damn mind?!”

You know I’m just jealous. Because I don’t swim. I float. Usually with a beer in my hand.

Anyway, I had the funniest comment from Kelly over at Verbal Vomit yesterday about – guess what – vomiting, and naturally it inspired me.

It really is classy. It shows you have so much drive and motivation that you are willing to run until your body hates you and all your insides try to quit you at once. What showmanship!

My barf story is kind of lame but I think it counts. I was running the infamous Eagle Creek with a couple of faster friends. I had to cut the run short and ended up holding onto a tree and heaving into the dirt. I knew I was running too fast for my own good but I also blame the turkey sandwich with goat cheese I ate just prior to running. Goat cheese, my friends, does not a happy tummy make when you’re attempting an 8 mile trail run at 3 minutes faster than your 5k pace.

So, I guess in my case, barfing doesn’t show drive and motivation. It just shows I’m an idiot for eating a sandwich and then trying to run.

I am actually more proud of the story about my husband and I barfing simultaneously (in different bathrooms) after stumbling back across the border from a day of sightseeing in Mexico.

Don’t drink the water, my friends. And also go easy on the tequila.

Please, tell me your barf stories…

After the workout I enjoyed a Backburner barley wine from our friends at Southern Tier (10% ABV/85 IBU).

Appropriate, I think.

It was gooood! It’s not all gritty and sweet like some barley wines; really smooth. Enjoyamongous.

And I believe I earned it.


13 thoughts on “throwing up is classy

  1. I love how your 5, 6 and 8 mile runs are the simple ones. Damn, I used to practically fall over in a 10K. Of course I didn’t train at all, but I was in shape (just not for running, I guess).

    Anyway, We don’t have that Southern Tier beer here though I did buy their Mokah yesterday. That one, however, sounds fabulous.

    • easy in relation only to the 16, 19 and 20 mile runs I’ll be attempting. I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into…

      I’d never seen the backburner before last week. Good stuff.

  2. Word to the tuneup races. I’ve never trained for a marathon – and it’s bloody well going to stay that way – but I’d imagine that little races would break up the tedium.

    You really want to hear my barf story? Here’s the last time I ralphed: March 2004, night of Sam Adams and Cool Whip followed by a 6 a.m. flight to Nashville. Apparently, yes, they will let you out of your seat while the seatbelt light is still on if you are about to boot all over the propeller plane.

  3. Hahaha yes! Glad I amused you! I throw up far too often, probably because I drink far too much vodka. I’m sure I’ll have a story after the weekend.

  4. You realize that I’m more or less running 12-minute miles for 5k, right? On good days?

    I’m not a barfer, really. I can count the number of times I’ve thrown up since I started high school on one hand, and all of those are alcohol-related except one bit of food poisoning. However, on two occasions I have been thisclose to passing out in the gym while weight-lifting. One of those I had to sit in the locker room, then lay down on the dressing benches, for almost half an hour before I felt like it was safe to drive home.

  5. My most epic one was SuperBowl a few yrs back (Chicago vs Indy) when we started pre drinking at 1P, had the usual fare of Superbowl goodies and I was passed out by 10P. I woke up in my sleep, projectile vomited all over the room—oh did I mention I was crashing at my friends apartment in her spare bedroom? Yeah. Puke ALL over the walls, carpet, etc and the next morning you could see chicken chunks in the cranberry colored puke due to all the cran n vodkas.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s