flattery shmlattery

I didn’t have anything to do at lunch today so I went shopping. Weeee!

Whenever I need to kill some time, I like to go to sporting goods and athletic apparel stores to drool over the stuff I can’t afford and then browse the clearance racks. They happened to be having a major sidewalk sale at Dick’s today so if you were willing to endure the heat long enough to paw through the racks of last season’s gear, you were in for some pretty sweet deals.

I found some non-running shorts for $14, on sale from $39! I win.

The only thing that irks me about the shorts is that they’re a size 4 and – bear with me here – I KNOW I’m bigger than a size 4.

Why do brands have to do that?

Do you really think you can flatter me into buying something just because it’s a smaller size? Can I now stroll my fat ass into the Gap and miraculously squeeze into some size 4 jeans? No, I can’t.

Stop playing with my emotions, shorts. I would have bought you even if you were a size 16 because you are comfortable and you look rad on me.

I also used the opportunity to stock up on fuel gummies (I’m partial to GU Chomps because they don’t stick to your teeth like Shot Bloks.)

Earlier I was thinking a run today was not.bloody.likely. At 3 p.m. it was 91°F and 59% humidity with a heat index of 102°. But another nice, freak evening storm pushed temps down into the mid-70s so I did an episode of Jillian yoga and then ran 1.5 in a drizzle. Took exactly 15 minutes and I didn’t even feel like I was pushing hard. It would be nice if I could carry that pace for 6 miles…doubtful at this point. But right now I’ll take feeling good and running pain-free over speed.

I’m all out of cheese and wine so I don’t know what’s for dinner.

Nachos and beer?


8 thoughts on “flattery shmlattery

  1. This bugs the heck outta me too. I bought a pair of shorts at Ann Taylor Loft recently and they were a size two (and borderline too big!) I have to wonder what the truly thin people do? Do they just not shop at those stores? I mean, I’m a healthy weight and all, but there are millions of skinnier girls out there. It must suck to be one of them and be swimming in a size zero.

    Anyway. Nachos and beer for dinner? Hell yes.

  2. Vanity sizing is the stupidest thing ever. I shouldn’t be able to wear an extra small ANYTHING or size 2 shorts…but if I go to Old Navy, I can. Fortunately, I’m too broke to buy clothes most of the time, which is how I avoid this problem.

    Kidding. Kinda.

    Nachos and beer cover both the nacho and the beer food groups.

  3. Why can’t those female apparel jokers just go by actual body measurements like they do with men’s pants/shorts sizing?

    I’m a fan of the rare non-athletic short that comes in small, medium, or large. You might still run into the same relativity confusion, but like a good beer, a good belt improves everything…

  4. Ha ha- I love it: Shopping. Weeee!

    And I wish I didn’t know this about Dicks having a sale. Good thing I’ve got peeps here to keep me distracted for the majority of the weekend, otherwise I’d probably spend my paycheck there… ugh!

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