the one where I gripe about winter and make peace with the christmas tree

So. Running? Did not go well yesterday. I feel like I’m completely justified in whining about the 16 mph winds, 20 mph gusts and -4 wind chill.

The plan was to do something in the vicinity of eight miles. I knew how cold it was out there, but I still optimistically took my shot bloks and hand-held with the idea that I was going out on a longish run. As it happened, I turned around at 2.5 for a grand total of five.ridiculous.slow.excruciating.awkward.miles.

I was actually pretty warm, relatively speaking. I had on the ear-headband thingy, gloves, jacket AND sleeves, insulated pants and a face warmy thing that annoyed me more than anything else. (I kind of hate those things. I mean, right? If I cover my face with it, my sunglasses fog up, or it eventually gets damp from my breath and then freezes into a hard mask. Or, I just feel like I’m being smothered. Garr.)

So it wasn’t the cold so much as the wind. My GOD, the wind. I felt like it was exhausting every fiber of my being just to move forward. I was pulling an 11:00 pace with a 9:00 effort.

And I’m not trolling for sympathy here, people. Don’t want your praise or your encouragement. What I do want is for you to call me a big fat dork for canceling my gym membership. I could have been running indoors on a treadmill while watching football with closed captioning today like reasonable folks. But nooooooooo.

So, as with everything, I have no one to blame but myself. And as the wise and worldly @weavr told me when I was whining about it, “quit hating on winter for being winter. Start hating on the city of Indianapolis, God and yourself.”

Well played, sir.

And now, your requisite holiday tree-decorating photos…

Here’s my lesser half, about to pull a Chevy Chase:

Every since I was a little bitty drinker with a running problem, I have hated decorating for the holidays. Just ask my mom. She’d have to coerce me and my dad to help trim the tree. And in my adult life, I’m sorry to say I have not matured in the least.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy celebrating. I just don’t like the prep work. If I could pay a kid to come do it, believe me, I would.

That said, I procrastinated as long as I possibly could before braving the cold again to go out to the shed and begrudgingly help Mr. CTT haul in our fake tree and our box o’ Christmas paraphernalia.

I should note we do have a pretty dope tree– all the lights are already on it, so there is one task we don’t have to worry about: unraveling the tangled ball of lights after haphazardly cramming it back into the box at the end of the previous season.

Anyway. We cozied up, put on Elf, shared some of our favorite dysfunctional holiday memories, and it actually turned out to be a pretty nice time.

My husband did accidentally break the head off of the baby jesus while unpacking the nativity. We’re thinking of gluing an Ozzy head on in it’s place.

Even Wrigley showed up to grace us with her almighty presence.

And that’s pretty much where she’ll stay until New Years. For some reason, she is enamored with the tree. The warmfs? The twinklies? Who knows. And with the exception of one unfortunate incident in her first year of life that left her dangling upside down from the upper branches, she does not try to climb up inside of it.

What is your least favorite holiday tradition?


17 thoughts on “the one where I gripe about winter and make peace with the christmas tree

    • Lowe’s, my brotha! It’s a fake tree and the lights are just glued/fastened to the branches. It even looks real.

      I LOVE Buddy Christ! I just made my parents watch Dogma for the first time this summer. Oddly, they were not as impressed by it as I was…


    But you probably know that, because I’ve been bitching about it for about a month now.

    Gotta love the kitty help with the Christmas decorating! Our cats will just sit and stare at the tree for great lengths of time. I wonder what is going through their tiny heads.

    • Yesterday my husband said, “are you going to be singing ‘Baby it’s cold outside’ the whole time again this year?”

      I hate that crap they play on the radio and at the mall, but I’ve got a few decent “alternative” Xmas albums that are tolerable – Chris Cornell ROCKS Ave Maria…

  2. He’s had a lot of practice living with me – I constantly bitch about the weather no matter what (unless it’s 60, sunny and no humidity). I think I might have heard that sentiment before!

    I was totally going to run after going to the cross country championships but it was really cold when we put our lights up outside so I just stayed in PJs on the couch all day.

    • Yeah, it was ridiculous. And the stretch I run on between Avon and B-burg is all corn fields so there was nothing to block the wind at ALL. I did a lot of trail running last winter and the trees helped.

  3. I worked an awful, horrible seasonal job in Bath and Body Works one December, and it was the month that made me HATE HATE HATE any Christmas music with lyrics. Eight-hour shifts with the same 75-minute looop of kitschy music? Yeah. Instrumental I can stomach. Everything else makes my teeth itch.

    • I hear you, dude. I have waited tables on Mothers Day, but nothing holds a candle to retail during the holidays. I worked at CompUSA one year (I would like to believe I had a hand in it’s downfall.) That was the suckiest holiday job EVER.

  4. I bet Wrigley’s just waiting for a moment for you to turn your head so she can dive head first into that tree… (and the tree is lovely, btw)

    I will call you straight-up crazy for running outside yesterday if it was anything like the weather here… holy crap. The wind was just MEAN.

  5. What is it with cats and christmas trees?! Mine loves it too! When we had a bigger one at home, she would climb up to the top and chill in it. Crazies. Your tree is lovely though.

  6. Pardon my geographical ignorance, but isn’t Indiana all…like… flat? Can you even hide from the wind? I can at least run behind a hill or something and catch a break. 20mph gusts, -4 chill, nowhere to hide, and my pansy ass would have been on the treadmill.

    Every year when my brother and I come home for Christmas, our parents still make us decorate the tree. And every year, we put about half as much effort into it as the year before. I think we slapped about eight ornaments on it last year. Guess that means we’re due for four this year. Pretty soon we won’t even bother unbending the artificial branches and making it look tree-ish. Oh well!

    • It is like, ALL FLAT. I try to avoid the roads and stay on the trails when it’s windy, but yeah, it’s flat any way you look at it.

      Maybe you could say the unbent limbs are a social statement about consumerism or something like that…?

  7. I absolutely HATE trimming christmas trees. I’ll do the lights outside, all the other little crap, whatever. Maybe it’s my perfectionism/ocd tendencies, but the tree never looks as perfect as I want it to and therefore I resent it. Glad I’m not alone.

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