first world problems or: a post about nothing

Because that seems to be the trend, right?

I had a few random discussion topics swirling around in that enigmatic ensemble that is my brain, so I thought I’d put ’em out there and let you guys tear in like a pack of wild, starving hyenas.

Go.

On how I’ve been labeled the office “healthy” person: I am truly bewildered.

Yesterday I’m adding some sugar to a cup of our crappy office coffee – I normally take it black, but trust me, this stuff requires sugar – and a coworker makes the snarky comment, “doesn’t that defeat the purpose of being healthy?”

Blink.

First of all, I never said I was healthy. You people said I was healthy.

(You might remember I was razzed a couple weeks ago for sweetening my banana bread – double entendre? – with actual sugar. I know, THE HORROR.)

And now apparently putting sugar in my coffee breaks some imaginary code someone has made up for me.

WHY AM I THE HEALTHY PERSON?

Is it because I don’t eat donuts three times a week? (I swear, it is someone’s anniversary or birthday here like, every other day. And I really just don’t like donuts. Fried sugar bread. Yick. However, give me a bowl of chips and queso and I will tear.it.up.)

Is it because I like almond milk with my cereal? (It’s a nice perk that almond milk has fewer calories than traditional milk, but the real reason I drink it is because I hate soy milk and dairy makes me fart. I do this as a favor to all of us. You should really be thanking me.)

Are standards really that low? I might eat different food, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s healthier. (I would wager it tastes better than most of the garbage I normally see in the break room fridge but that’s a different topic altogether.)

And let me clarify, I don’t talk about food. I don’t criticize people for their food choices or brag about how I eat all natural this or local, organic that. I am not one of those foodie a-holes who thinks they are unique and special because they walked into a Trader Joe’s one day and picked up a bag of Brussels sprouts.

I mean, I guess it’s better than being labeled the office gossip or the office slut, but come on.

Have you ever been unfairly labeled? Have you ever been appropriately labeled?

On the cool boots I ordered from Amazon last week: I’ve since come to find out I ordered a men’s UK size 8, so like, four sizes too large.

Luckily I was able to contact the seller just in time and they changed my order before it shipped.

I was looking for something functional and not too stylish.

What do you think? Too lumberjacky?

On this holiday beer gift-giving guide from Draft Magazine: It’s actually a nice, thoughtful beer guide for all types of people — even the ones who think anything other than Miller Lite is gross and scary.

I’ve had the Bison Reunion ’08 (but not the ’10) and the Rejewvenator, but that’s it. So, if you are looking for gift ideas for me, any of these will do.

What beers are you afraid of?

On whether or not I’m running today: Well. It’s 15 °F (wind chill -9), but not windy so I think it’s a go. I didn’t end up running yesterday so I’m starting to get a little antsy. (My right shin has been feeling just the teenciest bit splinty for the last few days and I decided to give it the night off).

Plus, it’s really annoying that it is dark when I leave for work in the morning and it is dark again by the time I get home. But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel: a new uber-YMCA is opening in my area this summer, so if I can just get through one more season, come next winter I will have a pool to swim in, a treadmill to run on and a yoga mat to um, yoga on.

How will you survive the winter?

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7 thoughts on “first world problems or: a post about nothing

    • Right, and the minute they find out you’re not into it, they make it their life goal to try to get you to slip up.

      Okay, I’m probably exaggerating but you get my drift.

  1. I really hate the snarky “so when are you gonna run a marathon then?”

    I’ve been getting this since I ran my first 5k. 3 miles vs. 26.2. Can you comprehend the difference???

    Sure, I guess it’s flattering in a way. But when it’s used in a snarky tone (which it almost always is), I still feel like they’re judging me because I happen to like running.

    I don’t judge them for sitting on their ass all day. Or at least I don’t say it…

    • Oh I know dude. Funny how non-runners lump it all together, and we’re not legit unless we’ve done the full marathon (and half the time they don’t even know how many miles that is). My other peeve is when they ask, “so do you actually RUN? Or just like, jog?”

  2. I’ve been labeled a healthy person too. In fact, a friend just tagged me in one of those asinine facebook surveys, and informed the electronic world that my favorite foods are, “Cabbage, ginger, and spelt.”

    Nice try. Chips, cookies, and peanut butter might have been more accurate.

    Still, I bet most of us live more “healthful” lifestyles than a lot of our real-life peers, so we are the “healthy” ones by comparison. It’s when we start comparing ourselves to the more sanctimonious of the “healthy living blogs” that we get annoyed and want to reject that label. ULS!

    Winter? I’m gonna be hitting up the treadmill quite a bit. A few icy/windy/dark runs per week is okay, but I can’t do it everyday.

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