the one where I draw an incredible parallel between Christmas Vacation and a Triple IPA

I am frequently inspired by the efforts of both Sweaty Kid and Shelby to make wonderfully artistic creations with MS Paint.

So I thought I’d rip them off and have a little fun of my own.

Last night I drank Hoppin’ Frog’s Hop Dam Triple IPA (10%ABV/OMGLOTSANDLOTSOFHOPS), and had an epiphany. Of sorts. As the title suggests, I went out of my way to draw a virtually nonexistent parallel between this beer and the classic film Christmas Vacation, so I could do a blog about it.

But I think you’ll still be mesmerized.

Let’s explore…

Clark drives his family into the heart of the Rockies (which is funny since they live in a suburb of Chicago) to find that most meaningful of Christmas symbols, the Christmas tree. They sing Christmas carols.

I drive 15 minutes to Kahn’s Fine Wine and Spirits to stock up on booze for the holidays. I sing heavy metal.

Clark sees a beautiful aura shining down on one very special tree.

I see a triple IPA with a frog on it.

Clark’s snobby neighbor asks him where he thinks he’s going to put a tree that big.

Liquor store cashier judges me with her eyeballs and tells me to be careful.

Clark cuts the twine, and branches explode all over the living room.

I crack open the beer and an overwhelming flavor of piney hoppy goodness socks me in the mouth.

Clark goes to bed with sticky fingers.

I commit the blog equivalent of drunk dialing by asking the Vegan Anti-Hero where the hell she’s been all my life.

Did I go to as much trouble as Clark did to make this the best Christmas ever? No.

Are Clark and I soul mates? Maybe.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “the one where I draw an incredible parallel between Christmas Vacation and a Triple IPA

  1. Bahahah to the frame of drunk blogging the vegan anti-hero!! (I used to lurk her blog a lot. Where da f she go?)

    Also, I love your cartoon plaid pants and the fact that drunk eyes = x’s.

  2. Dude… Where has she gone?!?!?! I still refer to some of her classic vlogs for a laugh… aaaahhhh! I’m nervous when she moved to colorado, she accidently ran off the side of a hill. I propose a roadtrip to go find her! What if she pulled a James Franco and is stuck under a rock!??!?!

  3. Friends don’t let friends drink and leave comments on blog sites.

    There cannot be too many parallels between Christmas Vacation and anything, especially beer drinking.

    Hope you had a merry Christmas.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s