the hand that rocks the pork chop

So, instead of running or doing anything constructive tonight, I watched football, goofed around on the Internet and examined cat yak.

Yeah.

If your cat ever starts yakking, don’t go looking around online because it could be anything from a hairball to kidney failure. You’ll freak out. You’re better off just sucking it up and going to the vet.

Anyway, in between cat yaks, I made pork chops and they tasted good enough that I thought I’d share the recipe with you. (Plus, okay, I had nothing else to write about, so sue me.)

But this isn’t a food blog, so don’t get your hopes up.

Here’s what you need:

two pork chops
olive oil
bread crumbs
seasoned salt
garlic powder
milk
white wine
two eggs
cream of mushroom soup
flour

Look! I even took a picture in case you’re retarded:

By the way, I used a cheap bottle of white table wine I had in the fridge but use whatever kind of wine you want; the mushroom soup and garlic powder pretty much overwhelm all of the other flavors anyway.

Sprinkle your pork chops with a little seasoned salt and garlic powder, then dredge with flour and dip them in your eggy weggy, cover them in bread crumbs and fry those suckers a few minutes; just until they’re nice and brown on the outside.

Aaaaand you’re done.

Oh wait, there’s actually a whole bunch of other steps but I got to drinking cooking and forgot to take pictures of them. Just visualize the middle part and follow the damn recipe. You’ll be fine.

Also, you probably should have had a couple of side dishes going. I made mac and cheese and celery root fries.

Side story: We got these two huge bulbous mounds of celery root from the co-op last week and the husband and I are like, “what in the hell is celery root?” So we Googled it and found a recipe for celery root/potato rosti (which I don’t recommend by the way; it was great, but if you’ve ever used a box grater to grate two pounds of potato and a gigantic celery root, you’ll know it is completely NOT worth the end result). After that, we still had one whole root and no idea what to do with it except make fries. So, long story short: when in doubt, make fries.

Oh look, food:

I wasn’t going for an all-brown meal, but that’s how it turned out.

I will be running and drinking again as soon as possible, folks. I promise.

P.S. Yes, we watched The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, so, there’s your title.

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17 thoughts on “the hand that rocks the pork chop

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention the hand that rocks the pork chop « Cheaper Than Therapy -- Topsy.com

    • “Actual” cooks would probably kill me for saying this, but I always go cheap on the wine because my undeveloped pallet can never taste the difference anyway.

  2. What is it about cat vomit that is so disgusting? Mine has been puking a lot lately because she’s retarded and keeps eating my flowers. You’d think she’d learn.

    • They might have been slightly overdone but finishing them in the oven with the wine/soup mixture over them helps mask that. As does having two glasses of wine before dinner.

  3. Must have been something in the water yesterday, I had a feline puker on my hands too. Hope yours is feeling better!

    Confession: I’ve never made pork chops before. Maybe time to try??

  4. Hi! I read your blog usually for the running/drinking posts but happen to also have cats so I thought I’d share something from my vet. My one cat has “intestinal issues” and the vet said that as long as it’s coming up (instead of coming out…if you get my drift) that’s normal and OK unless it’s excessive. Of course – doesn’t hurt to check it out!

    – (the other) Marie

    • heh, thank you! That is pretty much what our vet said too. She got a b-12 shot and some kind of anti-nausea injection and seems fine today. But of course I always assume the worst. Thanks for reading!

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