on spouses

I didn’t run today.

But in the interest of not alienating my 14 readers, I thought I’d call it quitsies on the complaining and talk about something else that’ll make you roll your eyes.

Spouses.

I don’t talk about my husband a lot on the blog because frankly, I think it’s kind of annoying when people go on and on about the huz, the DH, the hubby, hubbykins, weegie, shmoopie, pookie and any number of other absurd and emasculating names you people you come up to refer to your significant others.

I may refer to him in passing: my husband thinks you’re stupid; my husband is really into zombies; my husband bailed me out of jail last night; but since I’ve really made an effort to shift the focus of this blog away from the MEMEME daily life (yeah right) and instead concentrate on just the running and the beer parts, ye olde lifemate has taken a backseat, blogwise.

But that doesn’t mean he’s taken a backseat in life. (Unless we’re fooling around in the backseat. Heh.)

It’s one thing if your significant other has requested not to be mentioned on the blog. In this age of social media retardation, you can’t be too careful.

Also, some of you have come up with this neat naming convention so that we know who you’re talking about when you say “HubbyDave” bought you flowers, or “HubbyDave” ran a marathon or “HubbyDave” slept with your brother.

And that’s cool.

But my husband is the private type. He’s not a blogger. He’s not a Facebooker. He doesn’t tweet. Hell, he’s not even really an e-mailer or a phone answerer. He only recently got into texting after realizing it’s a neat way to avoid talking to people. And I sort of love that about him. After all, there’s only room in this family for one fame whore.

Buuuut he does say some pretty funny shit sometimes; and since he’s never going to tell you about it, I came up with this segment, Shit My Husband Says. Also, it makes for a nice go-to post when I’m not running or (god forbid) not drinking.

So without further ado, your latest installment of SMHS.

Regarding meet-ups with your blog friends:

“Some day one of these people is going to turn out to be a serial killer. And when you’re lying there dead, I’m going to say ‘I told you so.’ Except really I’ll be saying it to myself because you’ll be dead.”

Read previous installments of Shit My Husband Says.

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26 thoughts on “on spouses

  1. Hahaha, that’s what Darren says too. He’s always like wait, you meet these people in real life? You’re going to end up dead somewhere someday, and I won’t feel bad. I think it’s true there’s only room for one fame whore in every relationship. Thank goodness it gets tobeyou.

  2. Wise man, but I think as long as you never try to refer to your blog friends as “blends,” you’ll avoid activating our latent sociopathic/serial killer tendencies. (I took a myers-briggs personality test once, and it told me that I shared the same personality type as Lord Voldemort. Ain’t that fab. Watch out!)

    • OOOOOOH and sociopath friends could be splends! There’s a fan page on Facebook called “I hate it when Lord Voldemort uses my shower gel without asking.” It has 1500 members. I’m just saying.

  3. I started my own hashtag on Twitter #ShitMichaelSays for the random wacky things my boyfriend says. It’s always weird and inappropriate. Hehehe

    When I first started blogging I referred to my boyfriend as “The Bf”. I never asked him if he wanted to be part of the blog, so I excluded him as much as I could. Then he started appearing in photos (I always asked) and finally I opened up more and he’s part of my life so he’s part of the blog in small ways. I like reading about other people’s lives and relationships.

    • ha, brilliant! I will have to do a search on that hashtag…

      I like reading about you and Michael. You’re not pretentious or saccharine and it’s never staged. Sometimes people just over-do the whole ooey gooey “OMG I LUVS MAH HUBBEH” stuff.

  4. I for one just want to thank you for not using “DH” or any thing in that category. If you did, I would have stopped reading this a while ago. 13 readers for you.

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  6. Husband features in a number of my tales. I’ll sell out anyone for a good story.

    I would tell your Husband it’s not the “blends” that show up to a meet n’ greet you need to worry about, it’s the anonymous ones with a weird alias and unknown location silently stalking you that should keep him awake at night.

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  8. It’s funny because until I started writing a blog my bf was the most private person EVER. He preferred it when he “lost” his cellphone along the side of a highway, in a deep rivine and once in a lake. He readily pays his phone bill so people THINK its still working and he’ll call his number from MY phone so he can see if any messages are “important” enough to respond to. He has a facebook account but its so private my grandma can’t even say hello to the guy. He only logs in to change the picture of his current facial hair status every once in awhile. Then I start writing a blog and all of a sudden he’s a fame whore. The post I wrote dedicated to him got the highest comments and I only know this because he told me. Like a million times. Weird.

  9. Pingback: Updates on things you didn’t ask about | eat, drink, run

  10. Pingback: Updates on things you didn’t ask about | eat, drink, and run

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