how to craft a blog post out of absolutely nothing

Writer’s block? Slow news day?

A few years ago, with no forethought other than your own narcissistic prosperity, you committed yourself to writing a blog with a very narrow focus. Ergo, you might be starting to run low on ideas. Rather than risk alienating your readership by broadening your horizons or reinventing yourself, you instead want to come up with a way to continually regurgitate the same old information in slightly different ways. I thought I’d help you out with that.

Turns out, even the least intelligent of you can easily craft a blog post out of absolutely nothing just by asking yourself a few simple questions:

  • Did you eat anything?
  • Did you run or do yoga?
  • When was the last time you posted about your daily routine?
  • Is there anything in your house you want to brag about under the guise of offering guidance?
  • What are you loving right now?
  • What arbitrary event or occasion can you blow out of proportion?
  • What’s the weather like?

Also, here are some helpful add-ons to enhance any blog post:

  • Feel free to reuse photos of yourself you’ve already posted, even if they’re irrelevant to the content. Somebody out there might not have seen them yet.
  • Link back to three or four other posts you’ve written. Again, relevance is secondary. The goal is to put words up on the Internet.
  • Feel free to make vague and sweeping generalizations to support your claim. Any comments that contradict you can always be deleted.
  • Content lacking? Take pictures from several different angles. Post them all.

I also spent more than 15 minutes of my life creating this quasi-professional flow chart. The least you can do is take a quick peek:

(Click to enlarge!)

What are some other ways you come up with fresh content for your blog?

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74 thoughts on “how to craft a blog post out of absolutely nothing

  1. ALWAYS BE SURE TO ASK A QUESTION IN BOLD. And not to engage your readership, which is appropriate for a blog. Use it because YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY and you want people to debate the merits of your non post in the comments.

    I assure you, it’s Epiclyamazingsauceballssqueeee!

  2. Wow, it’s like you mapped out my post from today. I knew I was a creative bitch.

    You forgot to include the massive amounts of pet photos. Everyone needs to see what Fluffster looks like while sleeping on the bed and the couch and the floor. Which one do you think is the ZOMG CUTEST? (in bold, at the end of the post)

  3. “Content lacking? Take pictures from several different angles. Post them all.”

    That one kills me. Especially the need for kissy face from at least two of said-angles.

    Another way to make your content really snap is to name the well-known bloggers you’ve read/met in each post. Who needs original content when you know the names of lots of bloggers!

  4. Wow. So I just stumbled across your blog and have been totally creeping, thought I would come out of creeper status and say I loved your flowchart, seriously made my day…
    …I would add to the chart: talking about OMG HOW BUSY YOU ARE…despite the lack of a job other than blogging/commute/shitty co-workers. Rough life, fo’realz.

    • thanks creeper! And it’s totally fair to include snack breaks, yoga, lunch and checking email/reading blog comments as part of your work day.

  5. Hummm ….

    Yesterday – I posted a lame cartoon
    Today – I posted a poll
    Tomorrow – I will post a pic of my latest gear purchase

    It may be time to retire. But I didn’t see that outcome in your flow chart.

  6. Truly magnificent.

    Did you ever have/think about having/regret not having/know someone who had/resent that someone insinuated you had an eating disorder? That’s a blog.

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  8. More ideas from a blogging veteran (9+ years):
    – new cute outfit, shoes, accessory, whatever
    – visit to a museum, flea market, concert
    – artsy landscape or macro photo of random object (bonus if you took it yourself)
    – your kids or someone else’s kids (or when you plan to have, not have kids)
    – blogging about having nothing to blog about
    – a day in the life (6:30 am, get out of bed, pee)
    – old vacation photos
    – talk about your wedding (again, even if it was years ago)
    – make up an FAQ

  9. Why use your own brain to come up with topics for posts when you can just join someone else’s “healthy living” challenge? This kills so many birds with one stone: one, links back to a “big” blog (they’ll TOTES notice you now!) ; two, at least a weeks worth of posts about how something menial changed your life and turned out to be amazeballs; and three, probably the oppurtunity for lots of pictures of food. Bonus points if you use overly dramatic dishes and stage them in weird places, like outside in a pile of leaves. Which is where, I for one, always eat my OIAJ!!!!! Delish!

    Despite being guilty of a few of my items, you’re still kind of my hero for posting things like this. Thank you. For realz.

  10. You forgot “step by step tutorial of how to make root vegetable fries in the oven.” I have seen that on so many blogs and I always wonder how it could possibly be so difficult to figure out that readers need to watch a blogger do it.

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