Writer’s block? Slow news day?
A few years ago, with no forethought other than your own narcissistic prosperity, you committed yourself to writing a blog with a very narrow focus. Ergo, you might be starting to run low on ideas. Rather than risk alienating your readership by broadening your horizons or reinventing yourself, you instead want to come up with a way to continually regurgitate the same old information in slightly different ways. I thought I’d help you out with that.
Turns out, even the least intelligent of you can easily craft a blog post out of absolutely nothing just by asking yourself a few simple questions:
- Did you eat anything?
- Did you run or do yoga?
- When was the last time you posted about your daily routine?
- Is there anything in your house you want to brag about under the guise of offering guidance?
- What are you loving right now?
- What arbitrary event or occasion can you blow out of proportion?
- What’s the weather like?
Also, here are some helpful add-ons to enhance any blog post:
- Feel free to reuse photos of yourself you’ve already posted, even if they’re irrelevant to the content. Somebody out there might not have seen them yet.
- Link back to three or four other posts you’ve written. Again, relevance is secondary. The goal is to put words up on the Internet.
- Feel free to make vague and sweeping generalizations to support your claim. Any comments that contradict you can always be deleted.
- Content lacking? Take pictures from several different angles. Post them all.
I also spent more than 15 minutes of my life creating this quasi-professional flow chart. The least you can do is take a quick peek:
(Click to enlarge!)
What are some other ways you come up with fresh content for your blog?
Please don’t forget to add a question at the end to generate comments, natch!
ALWAYS BE SURE TO ASK A QUESTION IN BOLD. And not to engage your readership, which is appropriate for a blog. Use it because YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY and you want people to debate the merits of your non post in the comments.
I assure you, it’s Epiclyamazingsauceballssqueeee!
I hope you and tracy don’t mind if I craft an entire blog post around your comments.
i *love* posts about home organizing/re-decorating/moving in with a boy (zomg). step-by-step DYI tutorials are the best. even better if they show furniture and houses i’ll never be able to afford, yay!
Oh yes, “how I managed to organize my winter wardrobe in just a single 100-sq.ft. walk-in closet.”
Haha. I knew you were reading my blog! You just described it in every single facet possible.
Hahaha Amy and I were having this conversation on Saturday.
Wow, it’s like you mapped out my post from today. I knew I was a creative bitch.
You forgot to include the massive amounts of pet photos. Everyone needs to see what Fluffster looks like while sleeping on the bed and the couch and the floor. Which one do you think is the ZOMG CUTEST? (in bold, at the end of the post)
I take photos of my pets because deep down, I feel like my womanly duties won’t be fulfilled until I bear children.
I’m going to write a post about how I’m LOVING this post. I’ll take a weird self portrait of myself showing how much I love this post too.
ZOMGYES! with DUCK FACE!
Lots of cool slang like to make you sound like a 16 year old. Totes awesomesauce!
OBVI!
I would personally enjoy it more if you made up more words to explain how excited you are. It would be EPICALICIOUS.
EPICBALLSAUCE
congratulations you made my Monday. 🙂 Off to further explore the flow chart now. 😉
I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t appreciate a good flow chart.
“Content lacking? Take pictures from several different angles. Post them all.”
That one kills me. Especially the need for kissy face from at least two of said-angles.
Another way to make your content really snap is to name the well-known bloggers you’ve read/met in each post. Who needs original content when you know the names of lots of bloggers!
Also, always apologize for not having any makeup on even though you know you look flawless.
Although admittedly I’m sure I could point two giant thumbs back at myself on so many of these points…this could very well be the funniest thing I’ve read all year.
I’m a gigantic hypocrite and I’m okay with it. I think it’s what makes me special.
Wow. So I just stumbled across your blog and have been totally creeping, thought I would come out of creeper status and say I loved your flowchart, seriously made my day…
…I would add to the chart: talking about OMG HOW BUSY YOU ARE…despite the lack of a job other than blogging/commute/shitty co-workers. Rough life, fo’realz.
thanks creeper! And it’s totally fair to include snack breaks, yoga, lunch and checking email/reading blog comments as part of your work day.
OMG you made a flow chart. OMG.
OFF TO WRITE TODAY’S POST KTHX.
I even thought about using the different shapes for input, decision points and outcomes, but THAT just sounded ridiculous.
Hummm ….
Yesterday – I posted a lame cartoon
Today – I posted a poll
Tomorrow – I will post a pic of my latest gear purchase
It may be time to retire. But I didn’t see that outcome in your flow chart.
That outcome is not an option for you! We’ll riot if you ever retire.
If all else fails, write a post about why life as a blogger is so damn hard so your readers can appreciate you more.
Truly magnificent.
Did you ever have/think about having/regret not having/know someone who had/resent that someone insinuated you had an eating disorder? That’s a blog.
oh man. I feel like I totally dropped the ball on this one. That’s probably why you didn’t eat breakfast today!
WHY GOD, WHY???
This is so on point. You gained a reader in me today.
You’ll probably be disappointed. 😉
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More ideas from a blogging veteran (9+ years):
– new cute outfit, shoes, accessory, whatever
– visit to a museum, flea market, concert
– artsy landscape or macro photo of random object (bonus if you took it yourself)
– your kids or someone else’s kids (or when you plan to have, not have kids)
– blogging about having nothing to blog about
– a day in the life (6:30 am, get out of bed, pee)
– old vacation photos
– talk about your wedding (again, even if it was years ago)
– make up an FAQ
Oh, genius. Also: I’ve done most of these, I think.
I forgot!
The weigh-in post (even if you’re not trying to lose weight)
OR OR OR the post about how you never weigh yourself because your worth is measured in more than just pounds and scales cause eating disorders. Can we team up? Does loteria chicana need a token white girl??
THIS POST IS EPIC/AMAZEBALLS/AWESOMESAUCE,
Did you wear an outfit that is supercute and stylish today? Did you take photos? BLOG POSTTTT!
I heart you. We are all going to hell.
SO REMINDS ME OF MEAN GIRLS: “Katy wore army pants and flip-flops? So I wore army pants and flip-flops.”
I’m here via Shelby. This was hilarious. My blog is so unique! And intriguing, obviously.
Shelby! I sort of want to BE her. And not only because she has soft skin and a supple behind; but also because she can be funny and classy at the same time, which is a subtle art I haven’t learned yet.
Also I lurk your blog sometimes. I lyk u.
Thanks for lurking! Being stalked is such an honor these days.
LOLZ! No, I’m just a pussy. I do have a supple behind, though. If by “supple” you mean “full of volume and gently rippled.”
FUCK IT LET’S HAVE A THREESOME. OR FOURSOME. OR FIVE SOME.
MENAGE A CINQ
Absolutely hysterical post. Love the flow chart.
Don’t forget nonsense giveaways. Those are always good for a post.
I think…yep. You just inspired a blog post.
Awesome!!! Can’t wait to check it out.
This was awesome. Very tongue-in-cheek 🙂 Tweeted.
And yes, it was awesomesauce.
Why use your own brain to come up with topics for posts when you can just join someone else’s “healthy living” challenge? This kills so many birds with one stone: one, links back to a “big” blog (they’ll TOTES notice you now!) ; two, at least a weeks worth of posts about how something menial changed your life and turned out to be amazeballs; and three, probably the oppurtunity for lots of pictures of food. Bonus points if you use overly dramatic dishes and stage them in weird places, like outside in a pile of leaves. Which is where, I for one, always eat my OIAJ!!!!! Delish!
Despite being guilty of a few of my items, you’re still kind of my hero for posting things like this. Thank you. For realz.
So funny! I actually spit out my toast when I read your flowchart. The dog was happy.
You forgot taking pictures of your feet. Because you can always afford to have perfectly pedicured (gross) toes.
Love this.
I do that all the time! And my feet are the grossest!
Hahaha! Love it! Especially the “vague and sweeping generalizations to support your claim”!
Haha! When I can’t think of anything to blog, I just write a list with no context or explanation.
I’m a little late replying, but your comment made me blow snot all over my keyboard. Cheers!
This is amazing. I think you need to add…”Did you wear clothes today? FASHION POST!”
You forgot “step by step tutorial of how to make root vegetable fries in the oven.” I have seen that on so many blogs and I always wonder how it could possibly be so difficult to figure out that readers need to watch a blogger do it.
Aaaaaaaahahahahaha. Root vegetable fries. That’s GOLD.
You could just post pictures of dogs?
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OMG the FLOW CHART. Brilliant. Also loving these comments (which you only got because you posted a bolded question).
Did you go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s today? Did you take pictures?
BLOG POSTTTT
ha! LOVE this post. in fact, i could have even included it under ‘things i’m loving now!’
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My friend told me about this post but couldn’t remember the blog. I’m so glad I stumbled across it. Hilarious!
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lol love that flowchart!
I’m always a fan of memes.
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