runner’s tan

Indications of springtime: two ducks making sweet love in our backyard; first run of the season in shorty shorts.

When you’re as pasty white as I am, springtime is a much-welcomed opportunity to add a touch of color. However, I think it’s pretty unfair that the fattest parts of me are still the whitest. I still have -albeit very faint – lines from last year’s runner’s tan, and today I kick-started this year’s runner’s tan with a long run in my favorite shorty shorts.

Normally I like to keep things casual on Saturdays. I wake up earlyish, but continue to lounge around in bed; stumble out around 10, drink coffee in my jammies for a few hours and then head out for a mellow three or four miles, or whatever the hell I feel like. Then on Sunday, well-rested and decidedly unhungover, I buckle down for my long run.

Today I switched things up, set my alarm for an unheard of 7:30 and drove across town to do a long run with my homies from Indy Runners. (They may or may not know my name, but we are homies just the same, I assure you.)

Remember how I joined that running club months and months ago? I’ve gone running with them a whopping two times, and then second time, it was something like 0° outside and Kate and I were the only runners present.

We met up in front of the Brugge (alas, this run did not end with a tripel de Ripple) and then promptly scattered to the four winds. I teamed up with a girl who claimed to be slow (LIAR!) and we headed out at a pace common sense told me was utterly unrealistic for me to maintain for 9 or 10 miles. (I forgot my Garmin so you’ll just have to trust me on this one.)

I started feeling some nasty tightness in my left calf but pride kept me trucking along and when my running buddy turned around to head back around the three mile mark, I took the opportunity to slow my ass the frick down to a more comfortable pace.

The tightness continued and got worse, but I was stubbornly determined to finish without walking, and crawled in at probably something like an 11:00 pace the last few miles. But I still ended up doing 9.5 in about 1:40, which tells me just how way too fast I started out. Eight miles probably would have been wiser today. That last mile and a half was reeeeally pushing it.

But I’m not dead, so I’ve got that going for me.

We all ended up at Ripple Bagel Deli for coffee and seriously kickass bagel sandwiches. Do you like…anything? You’ll like this place. Mine had turkey, avocado, cucumber, sprouts and provolone.

My calf was still killing me when I got home, so I went at it with the rolling stick and…fffffffffrick. It was excruciating. I should have had a chunk of tree bark to bite down on like those old-timey women who used to give birth in the days of yore. But it worked. I rolled all the knots and icknastiness out of it and now it feels only marginally tender instead of all ohshitowwy.

I am now sitting with my leg elevated and iced, and I’m appropriately enjoying a Southern Tier Farmer’s Tan Imperial Lager:

Neolithic humans evolved from nomadic hunters into a more settled agricultural society, changing life forever. The ‘founder’ crops they raised included wheat & barley. It is little surprise that the first examples of brewing appeared during this age.

Brewers owe much to that epoch. Similarly, we thank our farmer friends of today for cultivating the ingredients that are responsible for the beers we now enjoy. Their laborious days spent outdoors under the hot sun earn them respect, as well as a mark of distinction: the farmer’s tan. Yes, the inevitable red & white hallmark of hard work.

I usually avoid lagers, and I can’t really explain why. I guess because in my formative years, the only lagers I knew of were at best not completely disgusting, and what you did to overcome that was drink about 16 of them.

But this one turns the traditional idea of lagers (or mine, at least) on its ass. It’s a fine Saturday afternoon post-run beer.

It’s got the word imperial in it, which tells you it means business. It is 9% ABV, but maybe your Saturday afternoon post-run beer differs from mine. And Southern Tier has kind of cornered the market on imperials. They do a lot of them, and they do them well.

It’s light and easy to drink, but has enough taste and booze so you know you’re drinking a beer. Fruity, sweet, orange-y, malty; finishes sharp and clean. I am happy.

And now, for your question in bold:

What’s your favorite lager? Or, what’s your Saturday routine?

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11 thoughts on “runner’s tan

  1. I keep saying I’m going to join a running group. But the only one I’m super interested in meets at 8 in the morning on saturdays. Just not sure if I can commit to that one…

    Enjoy the rest of your saturday, lady! I’m off to wrigleyville for um… early evening drinking? Doubt I’ll get there in time to call it “day drinking”. I’m old.

  2. Sounds like a solid investment in a kitchen tall garbage can and an automatic ice maker may do some justice for you. An added fish tank bubbler will make the makeshift ice bather all the more effective. For me, just a oblong mop bucket and McDonalds $1 bags of ice do the trick for my poor genetics in relation to my weak ankles. Thanks Pop.

  3. Not Only am I Irish (fair skinned & freckled) but I’ve lived in the NW my whole life. I am always pasty white. I’ve been in Tucson for a week now. I finally have some color!

  4. I didn’t think I was able to tan (some weird breed of a pale Italian father and a dark Eastern European Jewish mother, go figure) and then I did. With tank straps from running and booty short lines. Grrreat.

    I prefer Saturday long runs because Fridays I’m too tired from the week to live it up, so Saturday nights are my one night to stay up until 10 PM and do naughty things like drink a glass of wine and watch The Biggest Loser.

    I’m not a huge fan of the lager, but I dated (and married, albeit briefly) a native Central Pennsylvanian and Yuengling is like water to those folks and I can pretty much drink it as easily. Oldest brewery in America. Fact.

  5. Just discovered your blog, and – hot damn – it’s fun. Look forward to reading future installments. My favourite lager is MacAuslands apricot – kind of girly but smooth and mellow and robust enough that I don’t feel wimpy when I drink it I keep my Saturdays as routine-less as possible as it happens. Like you, I usually save my long runs for Sunday mornings after I’ve had a day of rest. Speaking of which, it’s time I turned in. One last long run tomorrow before I head for Around the Bay 30K in Hamilton, Ontario next weekend. Thanks again for your very fun blog. Cheers!

  6. I find it funny that you find this Southern Tier stuff before I’ve seen it, considering how easy it is to find here. Hah.

    Also, I still have tan lines from last summer.

    Also, good run bitch!

  7. I’m a Satruday long-runner. My routine consists of Friday happy hour, home before 8, in bed by 10 and then rested and not hungover for a Sat. run. I also went to my running club for the second time yesterday and I’m convinced that’s gonna make me faster because when I run alone, I tend to slack. I refueled later Sat. night with some Dreamweaver ale…it’s light and makes me feel like it’s summer. Only it’s not 😦

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