Yesterday, I got stuck in a two-hour meeting (of which only about 15 minutes was worthwhile), and missed yoga.
[queue: melodramatic horrified scream]
I mean, I could have hauled ass over there and sneaked in a few minutes late, but it’s really difficult for me to find my happy place when I’m feeling rushed.
So I went running (I KNOW I KNOW, I’M A RUNNER AND I SKIPPED YOGA TO GO RUNNING!), and actually had another of those dreamy runs that I always complain are too far and few between. Maybe karma works both ways? (Nahhh…)
I had a bit of a head wind on the way out, so the subsequent tail wind on the way back made me feel like I was flying.
I thought maybe this was a PR, but when I consulted Garmin.com (which was also having a good day yesterday, for once), I found my four-mile PR is 37:22, which sort of bummed me out because I felt like I was working really hard.
It’s my belief that the time in which I deserve to have finished was more in the 37:00 range.
Today, I was all set to do a parody post on the next big diet craze to sweep the country – the tape worm diet, because really, what could be more absurd? – but I learned this diet actually exists.
Read the FAQ. It’ll blow your mind.
But this is more fun anyway:
What are some other absurd diets that actually exist?
- The crystal meth and whoring around diet. As seen on Intervention.
- Ebola diet. Your bodily organs rot and then liquify. You die; but you’ll have a slammin’ bod during the incubation period. As seen in Africa.
- The Law of Attraction diet. Simply recognize how much you really, truly deserve to be skinny and the pounds just fly off.
- The vodka diet. When you’re too drunk to find your face, you can’t put food in it. As seen on Lindsay Lohan.
- The Rosemary’s Baby diet. It may seem counter-intuitive that getting pregnant could yield any respectable amount of weight loss, but when you’re carrying the spawn of Satan, all bets are off.
This post is dedicated to Running Shorts, who continues to inspire me with horrible ideas.