So at one point, I wanted to name my daughter Juliet. (Yes: daughter. See how easy that was? And you didn’t have even have to scroll through a dozen blurry ultrasound photos of something that might be a baby or might be a satellite map of a hurricane, with one photo that has an arrow and the word GIRL pointing to something that might be a labia or might be a teeny tiny hamburger bun.)
Anygettothepointmarie, I’ve always liked the name Juliet, and there was this pretty girl who went to my high school whose name was Juliet. But, her last name wasn’t Lewis. (Oops, now you know my last name. I’ll never be president.) And I just don’t know if I could handle my kid’s name being Juliet Lewis.
Everyone would be like, “Juliet, like the actress?” And I’d be like, “no.” And they’d be like, “Did you see From Dusk Til Dawn?” And I’d be like, “yeah.” And they’d be like, “remember that part where she’s like, ‘does anyone have any silver?'” And I’d be like, “yeah.” And then they’d be like, “I heard she’s a scientologist now.” And I’d be like, “mhm.”
And that would happen again. And again. Until eventually I would be compelled to instruct my daughter to start giving people her middle name (Huey) and be done with it.
Other names we have reluctantly crossed off the list:
- Jerry Lee
- Daniel Day
- Herschell Gordon