stop filling your meat or: what I’m hating part II

I’m not a big fan of filler. In my meat, or in my blog. And before you go all Creative Writing 101 on me, there’s a difference between using descriptive/flowery language to paint a picture or build momentum in prose, versus being punchy and melodramatic to make something banal seem interesting. (And only I can tell for certain which one of these you’re doing.)

Having said that, here are my favorite stupid things people say when they’re trying to add non-meat extenders to the ground beef of their blogs…

  • Having said that
  • Truth be told
  • If I do say so myself
  • Whoop/Woop/Huzzah
  • Nosh/Nom
  • My body was craving…
  • Who am I?
  • LITERALLY. I may have mentioned this before, but now I’m gonna harp on it: you literally never need to use the word literally. It is the generic hot dog of the English language. And when you say you were “literally blown away” by something? I will expect to see photos of you splattered to little bits or stuck up in a tree somewhere.
  • ‘Twas
  • Trust me
  • As of late
  • Any word you don’t know the meaning of/don’t know how to spell.

this is your blog

Note: You actually still MUST say “TWSS” after anything even remotely suggestive. This is a hard and fast (TWSS) rule and will also never cease to amuse me.

Last thing: Are you on a journey? Stop by Washington Ran Here and find out! (Teaser: you’re probably not on a journey.)

Anything I’ve left out? More meat innuendo! To the commentmobile!

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51 thoughts on “stop filling your meat or: what I’m hating part II

  1. anyhoo
    soooooooo
    body image (typically accompanied by “issues”)
    awesomesauce (I suppose it can be used ironically)
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Who the fuck says ’twas unless they’re reading to children on Christmas Eve?

    Add these fillers to the predictable recalls of painful HS experiences that somehow persist 20 years later in your psyche and you literally have a female blogger train wreck!!!!!!

    I think I’m piling on now.

  2. Asking me and all the other readers if we can be friends
    “breakie” or “brekkie”
    Asking me and all the other readers how we are doing today
    Interrupting one’s own train of thought to mention they cooked X in heels

  3. Brilliant. Although nosh is perfectly acceptable if said blogger is also a Jewish grandparent. A Bubby.

    These get to me:

    “Many a time” — just say MANY TIMES. Come on!
    “Versus” in place of “instead” – while not technically incorrect, it pisses me off. Your morning gym session did not compete with your evening gym session in a boxing match.
    “…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” – STFU
    “xxxx? i don’t need no stinkin” xxxx!” – Again, STFU

    I am with you on TWSS. I need to improve in that aspect. I also want to add that LITERALLY should be said even more, as long as it is said by Rob Lowe on Parks & Rec.

    There are more for my list, I just can’t think of them now.

  4. Done and done!

    No fucking kidding?!

    However, I would support an integration of archaic filler. We could use more harks and forsooths online. “And lo, I lifted arms.”

  5. TRUTH BE TOLD….TRUST ME when I say I was LITERALLY BLOWN AWAY AS OF LATE when I discovered TWAS wrong to these things, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. HAVING SAID THAT…WHO AM I???

    HUZZAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *curtsy*

  6. I’m sure I’m guilty of the filler on occasion. Besides brekkie and blends annoying me to no end, I have a thing with preggo. Not even just on blogs but in real life. Pasta sauce you are not. I think it stems back to my annoyance with creating acronyms/abbreviations for words that don’t include the letter. SBUX…where did the X come from!?! And on that note, CHX, also known as chicken breast in the food business. I better stop before I implode.

    • HA! I do it too, for suresies. My friend used “pregzilla” the other day, so that’s a good alternative to preggo. Until two weeks from now when everyone is using it and we have to come up with something different.

      And I still call pasta salad “P-SAL” from my waitressing days. Feh.

  7. I try not to use the annoying abbreviations too much, but sometimes I blog drunk or hungover so I’m sure I slip. Brekkie makes me want to stab people though. OH! and the hus, the husband, etc, etc. Guess what, we know his name. Use it.

  8. HATE ’twas. Drives me crazy. I also hate “but I digress”, “wax poetic” and “grilled (or fried, baked, whatever cooking method) to perfection”. Just stop. STOP!

  9. My body was craving meaty filler. LITERALLY. Soooo naturally I visited your blog.

    I give the evil eye to people who say “I haven’t ran . . . [more than three miles a week/a half-marathon/since last tuesday].” It is literally so so wrong. Having said that, I personally cannot remember if this verb tense is the present or past perfect. Either way: you haven’t RUN. Please make a note.

    Yes, beginning a statement of your opinion or experience with the word “Personally” (as in “personally, I think meaty filler is best grilled, with yummy sauce” or “personally, my body craves meaty filler on a stick with a side of almond butter”) is silly. The pronoun “I” tells us that it is about you.

    I’m with Kelly on all non-ironic usage of “the husband,” “the hubs”, DH, etc. Nauseating.

    Many bloggers seem to believe they face “dilemnas.” Honey. No. It is not a dilemna. I know it really really seems like one, but I promise you, it’s not a dilemna at all.

    Finally: I plead guilty to overuse of the words “basically” and “actually”.

  10. I have to second the “brekkie” thing. I think my newest hatred of a shortened word is “adorbs”. I can feel my blood pressure spike when I read it. And if I ever heard anyone actually say it– don’t even ask me what I would do.

  11. You and Sarah are giving me a complex.(for realz). I fear I’m one of “those” people….yikes. Thanks for opening my eyes to how I need to stop using fillers while documenting my journey.

    I’m going to think about this while I go make a hummus, spinach, and pita “sammie” (ITS A FRIGGING SANDWICH–NO MMMMMSSS).

    HAVING SAID THAT, I also hate when people use emoticons excessively or LMAO or ROTF or even LOL. Something has to be pretty god damn funny for me to even show teeth – i have “literally” never fallen to the ground rolling, and my ass is still in tact.

    And TWSS will never get old. Ever.

    • I GOT YOUR FILLER RIGHT HERE!

      I’ve had to refrain from saying LOL in face to face conversations. Convos. If you will. And that’s another one!!

      • Haha thanks sarah! Glad I actually checked to see if there was a reply. I appreciate your reassurance!

        Although I did just start yoga, and wait – yup – a new journey is born.

        You guys are the best. I find your sarcasm and honesty refreshing – no joke. Two of my favorites.

  12. Too bad there are no red pens on the internet.

    I’d also like any version of the following phrase to be retired: “I can’t find the words to describe ___”

    There are a shit ton of words in the English language and many more we borrow from other languages. I am sure you can find one or two. Get a dictionary and a thesaurus.

  13. Pingback: PSA: there are NO COOKIES. | runharrietrun

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