Wow, you guys! I really enjoyed reading all your comments on yesterday’s post. I am TOTES going to use that one for my “surprise success” on the 7 Links post! (I’m being facetious but I’m serious too.)
No, but I’m really glad you guys you understand this is a place you can come to air out all your petty frustrations and misguided rage. I am here for you.
Except for when I’m here for me.
Today I am thrilled because my neighbor just dropped off a GARBAGE BAG of hand-me-down maternity clothes. (Yo: I’m not a snob, I’ll take whatever you give me.) I’ve been getting by on a few maternity – and a few non-maternity – items, and knew I was going to need more (and bigger) clothes for the fall and winter. But I was dreading having to do more shopping and now I don’t have to. There were some cute tops, some nice black pants and some crops and khakis I can wear to work, but most importantly: TWO PAIRS OF STRETCHY JEANS THAT FIT ME PERFECTLY. A while back, I tried on some maternity jeans from Target and they sucked. They weren’t stretchy and didn’t sit right and they made me look like a fatty fat fat. You know those weird reverse-fit jeans they make for people with front butts? Well, that’s what they felt like. And I am NOT about to pay $278 for some overpriced “designer” maternity jeans from Pea in the Pod. So high five.
Getting huge has also allowed me to fully appreciate what a hot piece of ass I used to be. I used to do a lot of complaining, but I now realize I had it pretty good. So I decided whenever I have my figure back, I’m going to dress like a total slutbag just to demonstrate my gratitude. (Since I don’t like to shop, I saved all my total slutbag outfits from college in the hopes that I will someday be slender enough to wear them again. I think it’s a reasonable assumption this will happen after the baby’s born.)
I’m going to be a wonderful mother.