You’re going through your day of checking email, doing yoga and eating natural, healthy foods. Every seems fine, except you feel this underlying sense of dread because once again…you have to figure out a way to make this kind of stuff seem interesting on your blog! These hosting bills don’t pay themselves, people!
You’re desperate for something – anything! – to happen so you can write about it. You don’t care if you get cut off in traffic, forget to wear socks to the gym or find you’re out your favorite granola cereal has been recalled after being contaminated by the spruce bark beetle…wait a sec, is that a raccoon rooting through the trash? SCORE! If it’s good for a couple of long, painfully drawn-out sentences, bring it on.
What I’m getting at, is that I’m feeling a little antsy today because nothing’s going on. I like to keep things fresh, but when every day is the same, you don’t cook anything interesting (or even marginally disgusting) and you do all your running on a treadmill at the gym, it gets a little hard to make your life seem extraordinary.
Sure, I could offer you guys a reader poll about what type of shoelaces you prefer, or whether you think the toilet paper should roll over or under, but you guys are smart, and you’d see right through that.
I could talk about all the stupid things that people say to pregnant ladies, like “ARE YOU EATING FOR TWO NOW?” (x infinity), “I would hate losing control of my own body!” (random Twitter follower), and “Sleep while you still can!” But that’s not worth more than a sentence, at best.
I could talk about my goals, but that is so boring. I don’t stress myself out, I don’t hold myself to high expectations, and I don’t really care about achieving anything meaningful in my career (except not getting fired). Don’t get me wrong: I do my job well, but I don’t live to work; I work to live.
I could post a picture of a chair or a tree and then tell you a story about my childhood and act like there’s some deep and meaningful philosophy behind it. But this isn’t one of those sappy, herp derp, I haz a feeling blogs. Is it.
Instead, we’ll pretend all this drivel I just banged out affected you in a really important way, you can glance at my ads, I can drool over my page views, and we will all be just as empty and ineffectual as we were five minutes ago.