5 things on the internet that scare the shit out of me

‘member how this used to be a running blog? Well, I ran again! I ran I ran I ran!

::Slaps self across the face::

No, but it’s amazing how amazing it feels to actually RUN a -let’s be honest- pathetically short distance, when you’ve resigned yourself to counting your stroll (waddle) through the grocery store as “mileage.” (Tomorrow: more fake workouts that I now count as workouts.)

Last night, I threw on an XL wifebeater and banged out 2.5 miles, mainly on the treadmill. Of course, pretty much every part of my butt hurts today (except for the crack part). But I think it was worth it.

And now, since you probably don’t want me to blather on and on about my butt and treadmills (email me if you do!), I’ll share a bunch of random crap from the internet that’s been creeping me out this week.

1. Seeing an ad on StatCounter.com for a bathing suit I looked at an hour ago on OldNavy.com. (Yes, I know how to disable cookies. It still creeps me out.)

2. People who maintain Facebook profiles for their unborn children.

This fetus has more friends than you.

A couple months ago, a bunch of people threw a hissy fit when Facebook removed the profile of somebody’s fetus for violating the terms of service, which explicitly state people on Facebook must be 13 years of age…and must actually exist in real life.

They could have created a “page” for the fetus rather than a “profile” to remain in compliance with Facebook’s TOS. But you know how crazy pregnant ladies are…

So now, you can do something marginally less creepy, and “add” your “baby” as a “family member” on your “profile.” Neat, huh?

Yes, I do see the irony in making a statement like this on the internet.

3. This baby.

Enough said.

4. This sports bra.

This image was stolen from RunnersKitchen.com

Just kidding! This bra actually makes you awesome as soon as you put it on. It’s also very controversial which can make you popular on the internet.

I totally couldn’t pull it off right now (LITERALLY! AHAHAHAHA!) because my jugs have ballooned to twice their pre-pregnancy size, but maybe YOU can win one from Runner’s Kitchen! You could even win one and give it to me for my birthday, which is tomorrow, and I can try to wrestle the ladies into it sometime next year when I’m done nursing. But, you know. Either way. She’s picking a winner on Friday at noon, so you better go over there right now and enter.

5. This: America’s own Taliban: A fast growing right-wing politico-religious presence plans to implement an end-times, Christian theocracy in the US.

And, because I hate to end a blog post on a buzzkill:


25 thoughts on “5 things on the internet that scare the shit out of me

  1. haha, you’re the best!! thanks for the shout-out šŸ™‚ i think teh bebe should buy you the one-shouldered bra for your first mother’s day. along with a 6-pack (or more…) of beer.

  2. Yay for running, really running and a sore butt but not a sore crack! whoo hoo! if your crack was sore, that might be a problem… or not.

    1. I HATE that too, freaks me out. I should really disable my cookies but then i’d have to type everything. Too lazy.
    2. WTF is wrong with people?
    3. WTF is wrong with people?
    4. That is too sexy for me. I look like a frackin’ sopping ass tomato red dirty dish rag when i run, who would i be trying to kid?
    5. #5 is the scariest true story that ever was.
    6. WTF is wrong with Dolphins! Dancin’ to mariachi? (okay that is actually cute).

  3. I was going to comment, but “WTF is wrong with people?” pretty much sums up what I was going to say. Possibly even more disturbing than the people who created the fetus profile is the fact that THEY GOT ON TV FOR IT. On $%&ing CNN?! Are you serious? Is there nothing else happening in the world worth reporting on??

    Are you going to have a “I’m no longer breastfeeding” party too? If so, I suggest you gift yourself the 1-shouldered bra! Also beer.

  4. P.S. Climbing up the stairs to your (erm, my) 3rd floor apartment? Walking to the Ubahn? Getting up and going to the bathroom 40 times during the work day? All of these things are totally a workout.

  5. Babies have no place on facebook, whether it’s their own page or in endless status updates. I think I’m going to start incessently updating my statuses with the perks of not having a kid. “Just slept 12 hours straight, feel sooo rested.” “Drinking vodka out of the bottle cause I can!” “Man, my stomach looks great today, well, and every day.” “No responsibility, wohooooooo.”

    No offense.

  6. The #5 one is especially creepy given what just happened in Norway (and what’s happened in the past Waco, Oklahoma City, Ruby Ridge).

    Also, I really hope I don’t look like a beluga being serenaded by the mariachi my dad picks out for my wedding. I don’t think white or off-white or eggshell or whatever is my color.

  7. I’ve been kicked out of Facebook for a profile and not a page. First time not reading the fine print screwed me. Oh, and what’s your normal post-nursing bra size? I am a shoe-in to win that running set up.

  8. good job on the run! i dont get it, whats the big deal about the sportsbra? it looks good, that girl looks like she does some serious pace, so what, what? please clarify, preferably in a long post that talks about sports bras in general and specific. thanks. Kenny.

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