IT’S MAH BIRFDAY! EVERYBODY PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
I wanted to share with you my favorite Facebook birthday wish (so far, since I’m so popular I will receive dozens more Facebook birthday wishes, which we all know totally counts in real life, because there is nothing more genuine than someone you hardly know wishing you a happy birthday over the internet after being prompted by an automated control):
I know I promised to write about…I don’t know, something, yesterday, but I forgot it was my birthday and I really don’t feel like putting the extra effort (read: stare at monitor, scratch my ass, pound on keyboard, cry, fart, give up, take a nap and then polish it all off with a false sense of accomplishment) into writing something thoughtful.
So we’ll just do a haiku and then tomorrow I’ll take you, my befuddled minion, back under my fetid wing and placate you with pictures from my special birthday dinner.
glory, for acts that command
no talent or skill.
(The “forsooth” was for Sarah.)