So, it’s pretty safe to say I’m done with running for a while.
Oh, I may jog/waddle/joggle half a mile to the gym a few times a week, but we all know that ain’t running. No matter how much I would like to be that superamazeballs pregnant running chick, it’s clear my ass and crotch aren’t going to play along.
Take tonight for instance: it was gorgeous out; 81°, breezy, and I took advantage of a rare burst of energy and headed off to the gym with my giant bathing suit wadded up in my swollen fist. And, just because I was feeling so glorious and right with the world (this might have something to do with it), I decided to run there.
I started off at a slow – no, I mean REALLY slow – jog and settled into this smooth (yet ultimately ridiculous-looking) gliding thing I do that allows me to keep moving without bouncing the belly up and down too much. I actually felt pretty good.
Got to the gym, lifted weights, and swam 12 laps before four more people decided to jump in my lane. With an aw, hell naw, I beached myself and called it a day.
I wasn’t even planning on running back home (if I don’t sweat anymore after the pool, I don’t have to shower, right?), but then I saw this girl running on the trail around the gym and she just looked…amazing. Sweaty, red-faced, but somehow all flawless and graceful. Maybe (nah, probably) she was muttering fuck-words under her breath and hating herself just like I used to when I was a runner, but it made me admire her, and it made me want to run SO BAD.
So I did, and still, actually felt pretty fantastic. But now I’m paying for it. Assache? Check. Crotchache? Check. Boobache? Fucking check.
BUT, what my reaction to amazing-girl-in-the-park demonstrates to me, and my point that I’m oh so eloquently trying to make here, is that I’m not still just carrying on this charade because I want to be a badass. I have nothing to prove. I’m not competing with anyone. It’s not about working through the pain or anything retarded like that. I just really like to fucking run.
I’m not going to kill my baby just so I can keep running (hell, I would die of butt-pain before I even got close to damaging the fetus), but I AM going to be really glad when I can do actual running again. MAYBE EVEN BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE. Just kidding, I’m not stupid.