in which I offer you more mental images of what I look like when I’m trying to run

So, it’s pretty safe to say I’m done with running for a while.

Oh, I may jog/waddle/joggle half a mile to the gym a few times a week, but we all know that ain’t running. No matter how much I would like to be that superamazeballs pregnant running chick, it’s clear my ass and crotch aren’t going to play along.

Take tonight for instance: it was gorgeous out; 81°, breezy, and I took advantage of a rare burst of energy and headed off to the gym with my giant bathing suit wadded up in my swollen fist. And, just because I was feeling so glorious and right with the world (this might have something to do with it), I decided to run there.

I started off at a slow – no, I mean REALLY slow – jog and settled into this smooth (yet ultimately ridiculous-looking) gliding thing I do that allows me to keep moving without bouncing the belly up and down too much. I actually felt pretty good.

Got to the gym, lifted weights, and swam 12 laps before four more people decided to jump in my lane. With an aw, hell naw, I beached myself and called it a day.

I wasn’t even planning on running back home (if I don’t sweat anymore after the pool, I don’t have to shower, right?), but then I saw this girl running on the trail around the gym and she just looked…amazing. Sweaty, red-faced, but somehow all flawless and graceful. Maybe (nah, probably) she was muttering fuck-words under her breath and hating herself just like I used to when I was a runner, but it made me admire her, and it made me want to run SO BAD.

So I did, and still, actually felt pretty fantastic. But now I’m paying for it. Assache? Check. Crotchache? Check. Boobache? Fucking check.

BUT, what my reaction to amazing-girl-in-the-park demonstrates to me, and my point that I’m oh so eloquently trying to make here, is that I’m not still just carrying on this charade because I want to be a badass. I have nothing to prove. I’m not competing with anyone. It’s not about working through the pain or anything retarded like that. I just really like to fucking run.

I’m not going to kill my baby just so I can keep running (hell, I would die of butt-pain before I even got close to damaging the fetus), but I AM going to be really glad when I can do actual running again. MAYBE EVEN BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE. Just kidding, I’m not stupid.

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14 thoughts on “in which I offer you more mental images of what I look like when I’m trying to run

  1. Thank you for being honest. So many blogs just post the shiny, happy photos of their perfect pregnancy where they only gain 10 pounds and lose it immediately. I know they aren’t sharing the real story.

    I have high hopes that the someday when I have kids I can continue my fitness level. At the very least I always have swimming. But you never know.

    • Swimming has been awesome! I never swam for fitness before now, and I hope to continue after the pregnancy. But…you just try to do what you can and not feel bad about the days when you’re so tired you can barely climb into bed. And I try not to compare myself to anyone else, but it’s hard. And thanks for your comment…sometimes I feel like I’m TOO negative. I probably don’t say it enough, but this has also been a lot of fun, too!

  2. Recently I saw a photo of a super-pregnant chick running a marathon in a sports bra and running skirt. She was really tan and clearly not suffering from extra cellulite issues. For a few minutes I really wasn’t sure who I hated more, her or me 🙂

  3. See this is what I want to read. I imagine it would hurt to run with another person inside of you. Those other bitches are liars. LIARS!

  4. the fact that you even have the motivation to move around other than to and from the refrigerator is impressive to me. I fear when I am with child (if I ever decided to do such a thing…kidding..kind of) I am going to get SUPER FAT. Like Discovery channel fat. Mostly because I love an excuse to stuff my face and lay on the couch, and whats a better 24/7 excuse then “Oh hi, I’m growing a fucking human inside me, bitch.”

  5. I keep envisioning the crotch pain and all I can think of is crabs. Eesh.

    Seriously, good job, though. Are you going to be one of those moms with the running stroller? I know for absolute certain that I am neither patient nor coordinated enough for one of those.

    • So, crabs cause crotch pain…good to know! [smirk]

      I saw a dude running with one this morning and I almost stopped and asked him what brand it was…I’m not very coordinated either, but I fully intend to give it a try!

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