the great malnourished

Yeah so we went to the Indiana State Fair yesterday to look at piggies and eat our weight in fried food. I think it’s fitting in light of a certain healthy living conference going on this weekend…that’s all I’m going to say.

We did our best to fit in as much debauchery as is reasonable with a pregnant lady: we ate fried food, walked the livestock barns, bought some (losing) lottery tickets, snarked at the fair folk and said things like, “Carnies. Small hands. Smell like cabbage.”

We also did a lot of sitting and people-watching. Have you ever noticed how a lot of people at the fair are…sort of funny-looking? I think it has something to do with being malnourished. Last night, we saw a lot of bad teeth, sunken cheeks, veiny thighs and bloated waistlines. My husband remarked, “do you feel like you’re the best-looking person here right now?”

No, you didn’t just read that.

Let’s venture into the livestock barn, shall we?

I totally never had a problem reconciling my love for bacon with my love for adorable piggy friends. I guess I’m just really courageous and resourceful that way. Neat, huh?

Here’s the world’s biggest boar (1400 pounds!) having his dinners:

And here are the world’s biggest boar’s balls:

I really bring the class, don’t I?

And with that image still dancing around in your brain hole, let’s talk about fair food…

Do you know how hard it is to find natural, organic foods at the fair? Yeah, neither do I because I’VE NEVER TRIED.

They also have that place that makes the burgers out of Krispy Kremes, but I didn’t get a photo. Apologies.

It was a truly inspirational evening.

Read other installments of Food For Real People.

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21 thoughts on “the great malnourished

  1. I ONLY EAT ORGANIC ASS…I MEAN, FRIED DOUGH.

    Your observations are spot on. I think the secret is to NOT eat fried stuff every weekend, not that that stops me lately.

    When are you popping that baby out? I want to bring you deep fried beer.

    • December! But as long as my breastmilk isn’t contaminated, I may have to wait a little longer to start drinking again.

      I actually read about these alcoholic testing kits they make for breastmilk so you can drink and then make sure its out of your system before the next feeding. I told my husband that and he rolled his eyes, but it sounds like a wise investment to me.

      • Talk to Nicki. I remember her sending me a picture of the first glass of wine she drank post Z Money.

        When you’re ready to drink, say the word…ITS ON like….

        Its 3:30am. I got nothing.

      • I think the deep frying of the beer actually kills the alcohol content… It’s SAFE for the bebe, I’m sure. Perhaps not your heart.

        Secretly, I’m DYING to try a deep fried Twinkie, but I’d never tell that to my friends. 😀

      • heh. the DF oreos were the most tempting for me. My husband was like, “we’re at the fair. We HAVE to have something fried.”

    • December! But as long as my breastmilk isn’t contaminated, I may have to wait a little longer to start drinking again.

      I actually read about these alcoholic testing kits they make for breastmilk so you can drink and then make sure its out of your system before the next feeding. I told my husband that and he rolled his eyes, but it sounds like a wise investment to me.

  2. This New Englander went to the Iowa state fair once. It was an eye-opening as well as waist-expanding. The best part was when they gave my cousin’s skinny husband TWO turkey legs when he just ordered one because they thought he looked too small.

      • Exercising while eating – that reminds me of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon walks really slowly on a treadmill while drinking wine. I would.

        The state fair looks awesome. Your fried dough with junk all over it looks delicious. SHARE YOUR RECIPE AND MAYBE COME OUT WITH A COOKBOOK!

  3. I heard that a stage collapsed at the Indiana State Fair, killing some people, and I thought, “Well, that’s what happens when you serve deep-fried butter.” Turns out it was some lighting equipment or something and not because of deep-fried butter, which makes me a really, really bad person, who is definitely going to hell (if you believe in that sort of thing).

    • Yeah, it was sad. A freak storm popped up. It doesn’t sound to me like any one organization was negligent, but someone will have to be sued/fired/hogtied and set on fire, so its under investigation.

      I’m glad I don’t believe in hell. Bad enough things happen here on earth without having to conjure up some imaginary place where worser things happen. Yeah I said worser. Yee-haw.

  4. Unhealthy living summit 2k12? Same weekend as the HLS, but we’ll do it in the same city and do the exact opposite. I will help plan and organize.

    • EXCUSE ME BUT WHERE CAN I GET AN ORGANIC CHEESESTEAK? And I want assurance that the ENTIRE CHEESESTEAK was organic. As in the cows that the cheese came from? Better be grass fed.

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