Friday haiku: NAQ edition

So it seems like FAQs -and as of late, NAQs- are totally popular and you’re almost required to have one if you blog. It’s a great way to talk about yourself under the guise of having your readers’ best interest at heart.

Also, apparently your readers have never heard of Google, otherwise they’d stop asking you how to make oatmeal or put ice cubes into coffee.

And have you ever noticed how these questions almost always just happen to relate to a page they can link back to within their blog?

OH SO GLAD YOU ASKED! HERE IS MY PAGE ABOUT ______. ($$$$)

Just admit it: you made up all the questions in your FAQ. I won’t judge you. In fact, here are MY made-up questions. Enjoy.

P.S. You can also read NAQs by Sarah, AR and the Vegan Anti-Hero. After you read mine of course. Yes, I did a postscript in the middle of a post. Deal with it.

Are you really as fat and lazy as you say you are?

I’m actually
really thin and good-looking
but that’s no fun, huh?

I love giveaways! How come you don’t do giveaways on your blog?

I get all of this
amazing free stuff, and I
keep it for myself.

How much money do you make from your Google ads?

Not a bloody lot.
I think Google’s screwing me.
Money shot my face.

You’re so funny and you have so much charm and charisma.

That’s not a question,
but I’ve always thought so too.
Thank you for asking.

Have you ever thought about going into stand-up comedy?

Actually, yes.
But I’m terrified of crowds.
I’d have to drink more.

Or maybe you could do greeting cards?

I love greeting cards!
And I’ve got YOUR greeting card
right here (points to crotch)

A train leaves Chicago for Indianapolis, 216 km away, at 9 a.m. One hour later, a train leaves Indianapolis for Chicago. They meet at noon. If the second train had started at 9 a.m and the first train at 10:30 a.m., they would still have met at noon. Find the speed of each train…

First train 36
second train is 54
Money shot your face.

Your photography is amazing. What kind of photo-editing software do you use?

Do these photos look
edited to you? That’s SKILL.
MS Paint. Thug life.

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9 thoughts on “Friday haiku: NAQ edition

  1. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER, especially as you used Moneyshot the face.* Which you got from me! Like I got the NAQ from Sarah!

    *In all fairness, I stole it from someone else. MONEYSHOTTHEFACE

  2. Pingback: NAQ: bedtimes and schedules | eat, drink, and run

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