butternut squash soup for people who didn’t drop $50k on a culinary degree

It’s October and you’re probably dying to make something in the kitchen with gourds because all your friends are doing it. You’re probably thinking, but Marie, I didn’t go to culinary school! How can I possibly make something like delicious butternut squash soup without spending a fortune on a culinary degree? Turns out, the internet is an easy and almost free alternative to culinary school. Let’s go.

1. Get on the internet and go to Google.com.

2. Type in “butternut squash soup”.

3. Click on one of the results that looks like it might be a recipe for butternut squash soup.

4. Hit Ctrl-P on your keyboard. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just click your browser’s printer icon).

Here is a helpful example of me typing Ctrl-P on my keyboard.

5. Follow the instructions on the recipe.

I just saved you $50,000. You’re welcome.

I made soup and I didn’t even go to culinary school.

Read other installments of Food For Real People.


16 thoughts on “butternut squash soup for people who didn’t drop $50k on a culinary degree

  1. Um, not to be a see you next Tuesday or anything, but WHY IS THERE NO PICTURE TUTORIAL? All I see is the end product. Where are the chia seeds? Where is THE NUTRITIONAL YEAST? What kind of white-trash slop are you feeding your darling yet to be born precious one? When your child is born with a mullet and a cigarette you will have no one to blame but your white pasta and lack of “super foods”.

  2. Your hands are fat. Did you pop out that baby yet? Haven’t seen a picture in a while. BTW Do you have plenty of beers cooling and ready to add to that famous suitcase that’s packed and ready for the hospital?

    • I do NOT understand all the negativity from this “Rob” character. Marie, your hands are beautiful, fit, healthy, and strong, NOT fat.

      Calling her hands fat doesn’t make yours any thinner… jealous hater!!!

      • His parents probably didn’t tell him he was beautiful or give him gold medals for coming in last in races. BRB GETTING MY POST-ITS.

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