So my computer’s on the fritz again, and the timing couldn’t be better: just when I actually NEED a home computer and can’t do all my blogging from work anymore (lolskies).
Last night when I tried to turn it on, the error message said:
PXE E53: No boot file name received.
PXE-M0F: Exiting Intel Boot Agent.l
No bootable device — insert boot disk and press any key.
Anyone? And please don’t tell me to set my primary linux partition to “boot” or I will eat your face.
Anyway, if you don’t hear from me for a few days, gently insert your thumb into your ass and just keep waiting.
In the meantime, I know a bunch of you are going to be doing Thanksgiving fun runs tomorrow, and I would just like to encourage you not to mention them to me, because this joke of a race happens to be my favorite one of the entire year and I’m bitter I can’t run it. (And I am not walking 4.5 miles just on principle, so don’t ask.)
But here are some unsolicited tips on how best to run YOUR Turkey Trot/Drumstick Dash/Gobble Gallup/what have you:
- get in the front of the pack and run five abreast.
- get in the front of the pack unless you can do a 6:00 mile.
- carry water.
- pace yourself.
- strip down to your shorty shorts and jog laps around the parking lot before the race. It’s a FUN RUN. Get over yourself.
- complain that it’s cold.
- tell everyone around you, multiple times, that you’re “just doing this for the turkey!” We first heard that joke back around the time the pilgrims were running 8Ks, and it’s not funny anymore.
- get drunk tonight. It’s only four miles, you pussy. And throwing up will just make you hungrier for Thanksgiving dinner.
- dress up like an idiot. Wear cliched and culturally insensitive Native American regalia and gigantic turkey tail feathers. It’s your day.
- leave your Garmin at home.
- bring canned goods for the food drive.
- find an appropriate pace group to run with. Even though it’s a fun run, there will still be some assholes gunning for a PR. Best that you and your gigantic turkey tail feathers stay out of their way.
- take advantage of hot coffee/cocoa before the race.
- gun for a PR. Just don’t whine if somebody wearing gigantic turkey tail feathers ruins it for you.
Any important tips I have left out?