So this c-section thingy marks the first time in my life I’ve ever had any surgery beyond your everyday tonsillectomy or wisdom tooth extraction, and it turns out I don’t have the patience or the common sense to allow my body to properly heal.
I did a lot of reading about c-sections and received guidance from my doctor, so I do understand on some level that recovery time is going to be 6-8 weeks, but I was still surprised and pissed off when, after three weeks, activities like sitting down, standing up, getting out of bed, getting into bed, rolling over in bed, bending over, holding the baby, picking up the baby, carrying the baby, showering and walking were still causing pangs of agony deep inside my gut.
Somehow I thought I’d pop Percocets for a few days and then be as right as rain. I even called my doctor last week and asked if it was normal to still be hurting. He was very nice to me but probably laughed his ass off after hanging up. Um, you had a HOLE cut through you skin and uterus and then a baby got pulled out of there.
And in spite of all my efforts to delay recovery, I’m also ironically paranoid about getting some kind of infection and dying. Every day I anxiously examine the incision, expecting to see the telltale signs: angry red lines, weepage, the stench of death.
I selflessly relinquished my body to the growth of the kid for 10 months, and now it just seems unfair that I should be expected to wait two MORE months to let the incision heal. Today: A routine trip to the grocery store exhausted me. We had a few days of snow and tornado-force (ish) winds, and I was really looking forward to finally getting out in the cold sunshine and going for a short walk. (Like, really short. Fifteen minutes, tops.) But when I got home from the store I decided that was exercise enough for one day. I’ll try again tomorrow.
I want to do planks, goddamn it. I want to lift something heavier than 10 pounds. I want to run until I puke. I’m sick of waiting, and I’m sick of feeling like an invalid.
Oh, and I’m also sick of my blog SUCKING. (Like, more than usual.) I feel like when I’m able to start running again, I’ll have some new thoughts to share and maybe my brain won’t be quite so mushy anymore. But, no promises.