So how’s that running going? The short answer: It’s still not. I see my doctor again Friday, when he will, with hope, clear me to do ACTIVITIES. (Please visualize the word “activities” in 148-point Myspace-esque animated glitter text.) Until then, I’m stuck walking.
But today I cheated, a little bit. I’ve been feeling really good on my daily walks, so I decided to see what a nice, slow jog would feel like. (I mean REALLY slow. Probably slower than most of you walk.) I jogged for about a minute for every five or six minutes of walking and it felt…dare I say…good?
I didn’t feel any of that disjointedness many postpartum runners complain of. My incision didn’t rip open. No massive hemorrhaging of golfball-sized blood clots. My crotch is a little sore, but not nearly as bad as it was when I was nine months pregnant. But again, what I did could barely even be called jogging.
There was a lot of bouncing, though. If I’m going to be a runner again, I’m going to need a serious overhaul in the sports bra department. Perhaps something in a stainless steel. My jugs are even bigger now than they were when I was pregnant (I swear to god they’re like double-Z’s) and my biggest, most supportive sports bra is still no match for them. (Oh, and the next girl who tells me “you’re so lucky, I’d LOVE to have big boobs!” is getting stabbed in the face.) Also, my fupa. It felt like there was a third boob bouncing around down there. Disgusting.
And, I’ve completely lost my tolerance for winter weather. It was breezy and cloudy today and in the mid-40s. Pretty spectacular for January. I was wearing insulated running pants, a long-sleeve top, sweatshirt, hat and gloves. Just when I was beginning to feel minorly badass for just being outdoors, I see a girl running in a tech shirt and shorts and realized that’s what I used to wear in January back before motherhood made me into a gigantic pussy.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I was going to complain, except that really, all things considered, a tiny bit of illegal jogging felt pretty damn good. I can’t wait to do it again for real.
I also can’t wait to take the snuggle muffin out with me in the jogging stroller and teach her how to blow snot rockets.