the baby and I make Italian beef and a giant fucking mess

So I don’t normally post recipes anymore, but I was so proud of myself the other day for preparing this delicious meal that I just had to share it.

A lot of my “meals” lately have consisted of coffee and Pop-Tarts consumed while standing in the kitchen and holding the baby. (Delicious, healthy home-cooked meals every day while juggling a kid? Takes a better mom than me. Also, LIAR.) She is tolerant of the Moby wrap for no more than 15 or 20 minutes (still no dice with the chic hippy sling, sadly), so a lot of times, it’s easier to eat and cook when my husband is around, or when she’s asleep. The cats have proven wholly unreliable as nannies.

But I had to get this shit started, and the Booger did NOT want to happily drool the day away in her swing or sleep or go in the Moby or hang on the playmat, so I was forced to hold her the entire time. Okay, so I basically just threw a bunch of shit into the crock pot, but it was still rather trying. I didn’t even try to clean up afterward.

hot, wet meat.

Here’s the recipe for traditional Chicago-style Italian beef.

4-5 lb. rump roast (or other good beef roast, like sirloin tip)
10 oz. beef stock
1 can of beer (I used a cheap and unmemorable lager that was part of a mixed six pack I got at the grocery store. First rule of cooking with beer: Don’t waste expensive beer on cooking.)
1 (12 oz.) jar of Pepperoncini peppers
1-2 medium (white or yellow) onions, sliced
Salt, pepper, oregano and garlic powder to taste

Place beef in slow cooker. Put onion slices on top of meat. Pour stock, pepperoncinis (with the juice) and beer over meat and cover. Cook on low for 7-8 hours or until tender. Break apart with forks or slice. Serve on hard Italian rolls with giardiniera and/or raw onions.

obligatory old-timey photo of the recipe because for some reason, other people’s handwriting is interesting and blogworthy.

I think the real way is that you roast it in the oven, then refrigerate and slice it, and then throw it in a pot and let it simmer in the juices some more. Or something like that. But the crock pot way is much easier.

My husband and his friends are always astounded by the lack of Italian delis in Indianapolis. In Chicago, there’s one on every street corner, and you can find giardiniera at fucking Walgreens. I had to go to three stores to find it here. Not cool, Indy. Not cool.

Anyway, it was well worth the effort.

I saved the good beer to drink with my superior dinner, a Rivertown Hop Bomber Pale Ale. It was only okay though. A little too bitey, none of the smooth floral hops to even it out. But it was beer, so I drank it up.

Read other installments of Food For Real People.

Advertisements

24 thoughts on “the baby and I make Italian beef and a giant fucking mess

  1. I think what the world really needs to know from this post is how hammered you were after your beer beef and single beer. On a scale of 1 to drooling-more-than-the-baby. (Oh, and I can’t believe that giardiniera is scarce in Indy. You should write a letter to your congress-person.)

  2. In order to cook healthy, wholesome meals while caring for baby, it is necessary to go to the supermarket and purchase ingredients. Which is why I had cottage cheese and an avocado for dinner. Which is why I now cannot decide whether I’m mad at you for making me suddenly ravenous, or whether I should just start licking my computer screen.

    In other words, that looks DELICIOUS and I want it.

  3. So the breastfeeding excuse is total bullshit, I assume, and what really happens is mom’s never have a free hand to eat anything and THAT is really how they lose the baby weight. You better tell me the truth, bc I’m not totally willing to sacrifice my nipples someday if it’s in vain….

    • Nailed it! Otherwise, moms would breastfeed theirs kids until they went away to college, right? The big test will be how much weight I gain when I STOP breastfeeding. In which case I may start nursing the cats.

  4. Hi. Have you missed me?

    Great tip about cooking with beer. Use average beers if at all. Drink the good ones with anything you cook, even if terrible.

    I think I better introduce you to the Pressure Cooker, where you can make that awesome beef dinner in 1 hour. For real.

    • PS I don’t have kids (I do have a cat though) and I don’t remember the last time I made dinner. Unless a turkey “sandwich” on a corn tortilla while my husband reheats leftover KFC counts.

  5. I made an awesome Jambalaya in the crock pot the other night. It lasted for two meals which means one night I didn’t have to cook. When you have a family to feed, the crock pot ROCKS!

  6. I had to come back to this post because my mom made a similar recipe yesterday (that she got from my sis in law) and I was hoping it would be the same one so I could joke that my non-running, non-beer drinking sis in law reads your blog. but her recipe is even lazier – beef + a jar of giardinera in a slow cooker.

    • Haha, no shame in that! think you can put pretty much anything in a slow cooker and it comes out delicious.

      BTW I keep waiting for some indignant Chicagoan to come over here and tell me I’m DOING IT WRONG. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet.

      • Eh, as long as you don’t put ketchup on a hot dog (which I do sometimes, shhhh) or claim that NY pizza is better, you’re safe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s