blowing smoke (and smoke beer) up your ass

I went for a nice, casual yuppie mom walk with the baby today instead of running. It was weird, there were kids getting on school buses while I was out doing was felt suspiciously like nothing of substance.

Look at the baby.

Anyway, I’m so fat and out of shape, apparently, that running outdoors makes my ankles hurt and I needed a day off. Therefore, I have nothing to write about again. (Let’s just pretend I’ve actually had things to write about for the last year and that today is an anomaly.)

You ever notice how bloggers, when faced with nothing else to write about, resort to such silly post topics as memes, search terms or the post in which you just slap down a bunch of links to old posts? You’ve done it, we’ve all done it. Now let’s do it again.

Search term theater part III

Ugly babies…

nutria rat…

how to make my fetus good looking…

the reason I’m going to hell…

grammar troll…

fat monokini…

going on a bender…

sexy veiny feet…

steroid stewie/buff stewie/ripped stewie…

how to lose weight on fupas…

lily pulitzer…

big tittyballs…

if it jiggles, its fat – is this true?

objects that are 14 inches…

what is going on with coke…

der fruhe vogel kann mich mal!

dave mustaine nutella…

green smoothies bullshit…

soviet russia jokes…

I’m too lazy to make clever commentary about each one. I’ll leave that to you guys.

Now, about that beer. Tonight, I drank New Albanian’s Bonfire of the Valkyries, a smoked black lager, brewed in the style of the traditional German Rauchbier.

You can call it Rauchen Schwarz Super-Starkes Bier, or you can call it Smoked Black Lager (Imperial-style), but just know that we couldn’t find a rule in the Bavarian brewing playbook prohibiting big smokey blackness, so we went ahead and brewed it. The Reinheitsgebot can sue us.

We’ve got a buddy from Bamberg who sings the praises of Rauchbier, but in my opinion, the traditional Rauchbiers have a little too much rauch and not enough bier. This one, however, at 20 IBU and 7 or 8% ABV (conflicting info on the ABV), was surprisingly well-rounded. It poured like a stale Diet Coke; black, with a thin, brown ring of carbonation (lol brown ring). It was smokey as fuck, but not in a bad way. It also had some underlying malty, sweet tones of caramel and toffee, and finished smooth. B+. If you can find it -which, unless you’re in Indiana, you probably can’t- it’s definitely worth trying.

Bye.

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2 thoughts on “blowing smoke (and smoke beer) up your ass

  1. Ha! Megan beat me to it. I’d also like to hear your best Soviet Russia jokes, plz. Bonus points if you can incorporate a nutria rat covering its fupa with a monokini.

    AND: Hi Kenzie! You are so cute!

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