No, not that kind of streaking. Although that is pretty much how my ass looks right now. I’m talking about a run streak, and today was day 5. And in the grand tradition of me celebrating mediocre victories and jinxing myself, I’m going to go ahead and brag about it. I don’t think I’ve gone running five days in a row since my XC days in high school (don’t get excited, it was the C-team. Nobody got cut at my school. AND EVERYBODY GOT A MEDAL YAY!). And I call myself a runner.

Anyway, today I did about two and a half with the stroller, which was actually comparable to the MILE I did yesterday in 30 mph winds. I swear, I can’t catch a break here. When it’s warm, there’s wind. When it’s cool, it’s pouring rain. I give up.

But, I’ve successfully stayed off the treadmill and off the DL and I’m feeling strong. This is something I can maintain. And I’ve got a solid foundation of at least half a month of running a couple miles every other day. What could possibly go wrong?

Incidentally, I will not be going for the record for the most consecutive days running without even hitting 20 miles per week. And fuck you for noticing.

In the interest of disclosure, some of those earlier runs were actually run/walks, but now that I am officially calling myself recovered, I’m logging only actual running miles. A groundbreaking concept, I know. (I’m also officially calling myself president of the Society For Those Who Would Like Sweaty Kid To Join Twitter.)

One more thing, and this has nothing to do with anything: in spite of faithfully continuing to take my prenatal vitamin and also a 325mg iron supplement, I am losing hair by the handful. I’m told this is normal after a pregnancy but it’s also totally fucking nuts. I’m thinking of picking up a bottle of Mane ‘N Tail. And if that doesn’t work, mainlining a head of kale stuffed inside of a sirloin stuffed inside of a grapefruit four times a day. And if THAT doesn’t work, I may consider adopting a strict policy of drinking only four days a week. God, I hope it doesn’t come to that.

Anyway, if you live in my neck of the woods and you see a balding, lily white pudgy gal heaving and wheezing behind a jogging stroller, just do the right thing and don’t take photos. Unless you have some kind of airbrushing app on your iPhone. In which case, could you please also do something about the bags under my eyes? Thanks.

Giveaway update: I believe we have several correct answers to the Google question. But I’ll give you punks another day to enter your smartass commentary and get in on the winnings (let’s say all comments before 4 a.m. April 25, EST will be accepted). Confession: I really thought it was going to be a beer. Maybe a Jasmine Hefeweizen from the 96th and Hazeldale (Hazel Dell, it turns out) Brewery? And I was going to send one to the winner. Since I can’t send you a Thai restaurant, I promise I will think of something else that is nice. And cheap. Thanks for playing.



14 thoughts on “WE’RE GOING STREAKING

  1. The hair falling out thing is almost enough to push me over the edge to never having babies. I just imagine sitting in the tub like Tobias with the shower nozzle wrapped around my neck, staring at my long locks, collecting in the drain and crying “WHYYY??”
    I’m a visual person.

    • Right? Everybody tells you that you get all this long, luscious hair when you’re pregnant; nobody tells you it all falls out.

      I ❤ my jean shorts.

      • Sweet jesus, I barely manage one boring-ass blog post per month, what makes you think I could provide a worthwhile or semi-regular presence on twitter?The opportunity to engage in passive-aggressive persiflage is appealing though. Maybe someday when I get a smartphone.

        Also, my level of hair shedding already exceeds that of a golden retriever with mange, so imagining the hair damage post-kid is frightening.

  2. I feel there are so many consequences of pregnancy that really need to be made known to women before they decide to go ahead and willingly get knocked up. My coworker was losing massive amounts of hair, too. I was scared for her. And also wanted to buy her a hat… just in case things got crazy.

  3. That’s an awesome streak!

    I had no idea hair loss was a side effect of pregnancy. That’s horrifying! I already lose a bunch of hair when I shower because it’s so thick. Yikes.


    I don’t like this hair falling out biz. There are so many things that happen that no one tells you. I have evening weepies right now. Maybe it’s my body rejoicing in the beer. Yay beer!

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  6. Pingback: a slacker’s take on streaking |

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