goals are for jerks

So I don’t have a lot to say, but if I don’t get something out right now, I can see it easily being another week or two before I blog again and that would make you sad, and here at CTT, we’re all about suicide prevention. Unless you are Kristen Wiig, in which case, have at it.

But anyway…my toe…it’s really kind of embarrassing that I managed to bash the shit out of it a second time. (And I never would have made that admission on the Internet except that I didn’t really have anything else to write about.) But it’s getting better and I even ran five miles the other day, all at the same time. Slowly and awkwardly, yes. But I averaged a 10:50 with the stroller and frankly, I am pretty pleased with myself.

I’m getting sick of being like, oooh I ran three miles, ooooh I ran four miles, oooooh I almost hit 12 miles this week. It’s pathetic. And yes, the ugly pink scar on my belly and the cute pink baby in the crib are the main reasons why my running still sucks, but I feel like I have to own up just a tad and admit that I could probably be a slightly better runner right now if I really wanted to be. Probably without even making any sacrifices in other areas of my life, and here’s why: when I run, I am absolutely not making the best use out of the little time that I have.

Now that I’m recovered, I could be doing quality runs, challenging myself a little more and really just varying my workouts to the extent that I’m not just cranking out another banal three miles on the fitness trail day after day after day. And please don’t tell me not to put so much pressure on myself. As someone who spent the majority of her college years with a bong suctioned to her face, I can assure you that without a little pressure and motivated guilt, I could easily wallow in mediocrity for the rest of the decade.

I have been somewhat successful in adding more strength work to my routine. And even though I used to mock people who did this, I started journaling my workouts. It turns out, the dorktard in me really likes to watch the numbers add up in the SUM fields every week. It’s actually encouraging to be able to look at a spreadsheet and see improvement. (Or, I believe it will be encouraging once I start showing some improvement.)

all the suck in a tidy, easy-to-compute format

So here are a few goals I’m going to work on, and as always, anything I say on the blog is subject to change without notice or explanation. But I’m not running for office so kiss my ass. And if these goals sound familiar, it’s because I pretty much ripped them off of (never home)maker. But this is my first try at goals, so I shouldn’t be expected to come up with them all on my own.


  1. To bring my race times back to where they were before I had Kenzie. And improve on them. Oh, to actually sign up for some races. Damn it.
  2. To do a long run once a week. For me this would be five miles or more.
  3. To do a speed workout once a week. I’m not going to delude myself into believing I’m actually going to go to a track and do sprints, but is it certainly within my capabilities to do a tempo or a fartlek.
  4. To run a mile all-out. I haven’t done this since high school, and I’m curious to see how fast (or slow) I am.
  5. To do a race with the stroller. Just for shits and giggles.


  1. To keep running. To continue to enjoy it. To not hurt myself.
  2. Run a 2:10 half marathon. I really don’t know if I will ever attempt another marathon. It might just not be my thing, and I’m fine with that. But I’ve done a handful of half marathons and it’s pathetic that I’ve never really improved.
  3. To do more trail running. I love trails, my feet love trails, it’s a win-win. Just need to make an effort to get my ass out there.
  4. To make some running mom friends. I’ve never had that many running friends to begin with, and now by seeking out running friends with kids, I’m narrowing the field down to practically zero. I haven’t made it to that stroller workout class yet because it always falls right around Kenzie’s second breakfast and if there’s anything I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that you don’t try to schlep a hungry baby out in the stroller. But the class would be a good starting point.

Whoops. For a blog post I was going to bang out in five or ten minutes, this has become something of a manifesto. AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU STUCK AROUND?

Are you a goal-oriented person, or are you fun to be around?


17 thoughts on “goals are for jerks

  1. I set race goals (’cause otherwise I’d just be running, not racing) for myself but other than that, I aim to get to work on time in the morning and have my ass in a chair by 5 on weekends for cocktail hour.

    • True, true, true. And I hate people who say they “race” but then screw off and go, “I just decided to have fun!” Entering a race doesn’t automatically mean you’re racing.

  2. There was a guy pushing a double stroller at a trail race I ran this weekend. This course had serious hills, tight turns, some singletrack/roots/rocks, and even a portion where you run down these dune-ish things and do a segment on the beach. It must have been nothing short of a carnival/theme park ride for those two kids.

    What I’m saying is, STROLLER TRAIL RACE… baby’s first roller coaster. You could knock out two goals in one.

  3. I set goals and typically fail to meet them unless there’s a timeline attached. (I just heard an episode of the How Stuff Works podcast about goal setting and how it helps or hinders your progress. A lot of there info came from psychology and how goals are used in the workplace or even for fitness. Basically, goal setting is overhyped. At least that was my take away.

  4. I really am, and I am totally self involved enough to think it was
    my comment that prompted this post. Thank you!

  5. i love goals and therefore am no fun at all. but i wish you lived near me — i would be so thrilled to be your running mom partner! and we could do our 5 mile ‘long runs’ together and be proud of ourselves!!

  6. I am no fun at all. If you’ve seen my blog, and I believe you have, you know that I am a ridiculous goal setter. (One of my goals is a 2:10 half, as well! Although that is not the goal for my next half – that goal is “finish without dying.”)

    Glad your toe is getting better! Have a beer in celebration!

    • I commend you for going through with the “finish without dying” goal. I am holding off on signing up for any longer ones until I have a chance of running a semi decent race.
      P.S. I ❤ ALVIE BEAN.

  7. North Salem Old Fashion Days has a moderately hilly 5k followed by a fabulous breakfast in a church basement.

  8. Pingback: Brew Mile or, how I don’t know how to run a mile |

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