Snark and superlatives

Somewhere in these chronicles we’ve already discussed how I feel about your cheap and blatant attempts at getting me to click on your links by offering up weekly or monthly recaps of your blog posts.  (I’d link you over to it but that would be awkward.) Yes, I’ve taken Blogging 101, I know recap posts can provide value to your visitors, but there’s more to it than just dumping a bunch of links on your page. If your recap is self-serving and masturbatory, it defeats the purpose. That’s why today I’m offering you a broad, descriptive and authoritative round-up of some shit I read on the web last month. That, I like, didn’t even write. Because while we can admit that we are all incredible narcissists, sometimes it’s nice to give a nod to your friends.*

Most educational: Blueberry and Nectarine Sonker. It turns out there are stupid questions. And stupid words, like cobbler.

Most functional: Twelve inches is fine with me. We find out the real reason people have kids. Besides the tax deduction, of course.

Most delicious: WTF China: Fetus Pills. Here’s something for all you placenta-scarfing new-age moms!

Most sensible: Avoiding technology overload with effort-based summer running. Sometimes a queasy stomach and gulping breaths can tell you more than numbers on a watch. I need to remember this next time I strap on my Garmin for a three-mile jog.

Hottest piece of ass: Amy did the Chicago Undies Run! No lakefront motorists were harmed.

Most refreshing: Why I don’t post much about the baby. Making efforts not to exploit her darling baby on the interwebs.

Most compelling argument: One commandment, better than ten. Because coveting is underrated.

Most altruistic: Nobody cares about your birthday. Self-explanatory.

Most metal: 666 days of beer and running.

*I use the term loosely.

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6 thoughts on “Snark and superlatives

  1. A shoutout! Super neat!
    And you’re right. No one was harmed. However, some segway tour participants were probably scarred for life. That or totally high-fived by their friends when they got home to tell the tale.
    Thank you for providing me with afternoon reading. And also, I appreciate the friendly reminder to not be an asshole- that one is just awesome.

  2. Don’t click but I cut the “Daily” Beer Review to every third day or more-ish so I could cultivate my graduation to hard-ass spirits that will fuck you up more quickly. I’m even gonna post a link because I know you love me. http://www.distilledreflections.com/ Actually, I just like their flavor, but, you know…

  3. BTW, you’d prob get double comments to feed your ego if your Captcha was even remotely easy to conquer. It took my genius three tries.

  4. I tried to give you some sort of “like” for the shout out, and somehow instead gave you what appears to be negative three stars? The fuck? I’m good at the internet.

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