Finally, an autumn beer I can get behind (spoiler: there’s no fucking pumpkin in it)

Thank you so much for the tremendous outpouring of kind comments on my post about my scrumptious jugs! I was a little disappointed that nobody told me I was brave and honest, but maybe it’s because you guys are just so used to that by now. I’ll just have to try harder to impress you I guess!

This morning I ran five miles with the stroller (AT A 10:00 PACE, PAY ME) and later on did a two mile impromptu family fun run (I know) with my husband. He hates running, so I jump at any chance to go running with him. If I had just done 40 miles and he wanted to go for a jog, I’d take a handful of Xanax and I’d make it work.

So the running did not seem to aggravate the tit situation and I feel like things are healing up right good. I took the precaution of using gel pads and lots and lots of lube.

As noted.

The high today was only 80, and the mornings have even been bordering on crisp. I’ve enjoyed several days in a row of cooler temperatures, and even though it is barely September, I know these days are numbered and I am trying to take advantage of them as much as possible.

Fall happens to my favorite season. It’s like spring without the allergies, it’s like winter without the snow, it’s like summer without the swamp ass. It is truly a season for all seasons.

Maybe that’s why it offends me so much when you people start queefing and drooling in August over pumpkins and pumpkin spice lattes and oatmeal with canned pumpkin in it and worst of all, pumpkin beers. There are actually a lot of great non-pumpkin things going on right now, not the least of which is Tumbler, Sierra Nevada’s Autumn Brown Ale.

At 5.5% ABV/37 IBUs, this beer was incredibly well-balanced and smooth. It had appropriate amounts of autumn spices mixed with rich chocolate and smokey malts, tangy hops, and nuts.

Not even a hint of pumpkin.

Something: Infrequently, I like to look up shit on Beer Advocate to see what the smug assholes are saying. You know the ones: they relay every step of the experience as if they had made love to the beer and they mention no fewer than 800 different distinct flavors and aromas and use no fewer than 800 adverbs. It’s like they are trying to prove they tasted the beer better than anyone else. So while its my goal to accurately describe the beer, there’s nothing I can say that actually puts the beer in your mouth. You have to do that yourself. I will say that if there’s any confusion about just what it is I’m tasting, sometimes the smug assholes can be helpful. For instance, with this beer, I thought I was tasting a hint of roasted espresso beans when in fact the beans were raw. Eureka!

Anyway, in my humble opinion this beer is worth putting in your mouth. Unless you prefer pumpkin beers in which case, just get the fuck out.

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20 thoughts on “Finally, an autumn beer I can get behind (spoiler: there’s no fucking pumpkin in it)

    • There are some pumpkin beers out there that aren’t terrible! Dogfish Head and the Southern Tier Pumpking mentioned above are two that come to mind. I just think the style as a whole is overrated. Or rather, it’s hyped up in certain circles on the internet. In real life, I think most people understand there’s a hell of a lot better beer out there that something that tastes like fermented gourds.

  1. Looking at your sports bra makes my boobies hurt. Get some better support, woman! That thing cannot possibly be keeping everything in place when you are running.

    • Oh I know right?! Don’t worry, I wear another one over it. I can’t even WALK in that thing without them dragging on the ground. I feel like one of those tribeswomen from Nat Geo.

  2. I do not like pumpkin beer. I do like pumpkin spice lattes. And pumpkin pie. And pumpkin cream cheese. And pumpkin muffins. And on.

    Glad your boobies are feeling better.

    • I drank way too much SN pale ale in my earlier years, so I’m over that one! Probably being out here in the midwest we don’t see nearly as much of SN as you guys do.

  3. I’ve had pumpkin beer before, but when I drink beer, I want something I can drink more than just half of before being done with it.

    I’m a firm believer pumpkin needs to stay in food, not drinks.

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