pre-thanksgiving blather

As a blogger, I know I leave much to be desired. There’s no continuity, no consistency and if you are a decent human being, I will most likely offend you at some point. But if you’ve been reading this mess for more than five minutes, my dontgiveafuckedness on this holiest lets-eat-ourselves-sick-and-post-on-facebook-how-thankful-we-are of holidays shouldn’t surprise you and I hope that’s the reason the four of you keep coming back.

This week I am thankful for the luxury of not having to entertain any guests or meet any quota of Thanksgiving-related blog posts. I’m thankful for not being nine-and-a-quarter months pregnant and for actually having room in my body cavity in which to cram obnoxious amounts of turkey and bourbon, and I’m thankful I don’t have to go into a job on Friday where my office is a closet right next to the break room and I have to smell everybody’s leftover Thanksgiving crap re-heating in the microwave.

The truth will set you free.

In running news, running’s been going okay for me. I managed to do 20 miles last week – including my fastest 10k and 6.437k ever – before I took unscheduled rest days on Saturday and Sunday when the entire family came down with the flu. Luckily the baby got a flu shot this year (EAT SHIT YOU VACCINATION CONSPIRACY THEORIST NUTJOBBERS! WESTERN MEDICINE! SCIENCE!) but my husband and I were stupid, stupid, stupid and did not deign to get one ourselves. So baby only yakked once (it was still the scariest thing ever), husband yakked twice (while he was out of town helping his mom move! FUN!) and I was the winner with a grand total of four projectile-esque yakkings, fever, body aches, explosive diarrhea and now, inexplicably, a toothache.  I spent all day Saturday indeed actually basically quite literally crawling on the floor after the baby because I was too weak to stand. It was a nightmare.

Also, my heretofore indomitable milk supply took a dump because I didn’t eat or drink anything for almost 24 hours. (But I lost three pounds so it was totes worth it!) [Ooopsie! Trigger warning!]

No, but I’ve been halfheartedly eating oatmeal and wholeheartedly drinking dark beer to help boost it back up. I’m pretty much ready to call it quitsies on the breastfeeding anyway so I’m not really stressing over it.

Last thing, and then I promise I’ll leave you to stew peacefully in all the unpleasant imagery I’ve just painted here. On Thanksgiving I usually do the 4.5 mile Drumstick Dash on the other (more hip) side of town, but this year it just seems like a colossal waste of time to drive 40 minutes there and 40 minutes back to run about 40 minutes (give or take). So I’m doing a quaint little Gobble Gallop 5k that is taking place half a mile from my house. I can run there, and it’ll be warm enough that I can even schlep the poor baby along with me.

I’m slower with the jogging stroller. I am pathetically, hysterically slower with the stroller, but I am improving. I can do a 5k without the stroller in under 27 minutes now, so I’d like to do it with the stroller in under 30:00. I know, I know, I know: I may have opined in a blog post on this day last year that you are awful if you gun for a PR at a turkey trot but blow me, okay? I don’t have a lot of chances to legitimately race with the stroller thing, so I’m going with it.

What are you really thankful for?


15 thoughts on “pre-thanksgiving blather

  1. You should check out this book: I read it last year and it was absolutely eye-opening on how the panic about vaccinations started. The doctor that claimed to find a link between vaccinations and autism was discovered to be a crook and liar trying to sell books, and I think he was also taking pay-offs. He was sued and lost his medical license. And yet….the myth runs rampant still. To the point where people in this day and age are suffering from long-gone illnesses like whooping cough and tuberculosis!!

    Thanks Jenny McCarthy.

  2. I’m thankful for booze, sex, antidepressants, antidepressants that make sex even better (THANKS WELLBUTRIN!), working out with a TRX (o hai arm muscles), YOUR BLOG ❤ ❤ <3, cinnamon rolls from Whole Foods (even though I feel totes fat after eating one but whatevs), booze (did I say that already?) and, um…… computers! internet! magic dragons!

  3. I’m thankful that I have yet to host a holiday (even though it’s because I’m broke and live with my parents). And thanks to this post, I’m extra thankful for free flu shots at work.

  4. I lost 3 pounds with my flu, too. Yayzies! I am thankful for weight loss. And today, my parents for letting me get 7 whole hours of sleep on Saturday night. When people ask me what I want for Christmas, I say time. And sleep.

    (Being the ultimate germaphobe I am, I have to take a minute to say that the flu vaccine is for influenza and not seasonal stomach viruses aka noroviruses or rotoviruses. Believe me, if I could avoid yakking ever again I would give myself shots every day.)

    • Ha, rotovirus aka touching shit or touching somebody who’s just touched shit and then licking your fingers!
      I don’t know what I had, I just assume it was the actual flu since we all got it, but good point. Meningitis is also going around right now, I’ll get that too, probs.

  5. I’m still getting over a cold and have actually gained through it. Yay for feeding the cold and being too lazy to go out and take a walk or go for a run.

    • Yeah, ordinarily I have an iron stomach so I gain when I get sick too. This was the first time I’ve barfed in a dozen years. (The last time, I started drinking tequila at 3 in the afternoon. Did not end well.)

  6. I’m thankful that I haven’t shit myself this year. I mean, not that that has really been a concern of mine since potty-training, but still worth noting.

    Also, are those the real names of those races? Because if so, DANG, Indy likes their alliteration.

    • Ha! Yeah, the gobble gallop was a new one for me, but for some reason, I’ve found that nationwide, the thanksgiving races trend toward alliteration. No idea why! And I am hoping to be shit-myself-free in 2013. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT RHYMES.

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