This weeks marks the official end to my breastfeeding career. We had a nice run, but things were starting to get awkward and I didn’t want to be one of those moms at P.F. Chang’s with a three-year-old anchored to her boob. I ended up being fine with breastfeeding and maybe even enjoyed it a tiny bit and actually felt a little wistful when the time came to dip the chip and end it. But it’s quite a relief that I am no longer sharing nutrients with another human being and can go back to destroying my body, guilt-free.
I can have caffeine, I can have alcohol, and I can have it whenever I want, including first thing in the morning. ESPECIALLY first thing in the morning. So why not have a drink that contains both of these things, and so many other things that are terrible for my body?
I can’t think of any better way to celebrate than by cracking open a giant can of Four Loko.
Let’s get awake-drunk, y’all!
Only problem is, I don’t even think you can get this stuff in Indiana, and even if you could, I don’t want to run the risk of looking trashy by walking into a gas station with my baby and buying a “FRUITY PACK OF LOUD. BUBBLING WITH UNINHIBITED JUICES.”
So. The terms of this giveaway are as follows: buy me a Four Loko and I will drink it and record it on video for posterity and post it on the blog, and AND I’ll send YOU something terrible in return.
Just leave me a comment telling me the most unhealthy thing you’ve ever done to yourself and I’ll select a winner sometime next week, whenever I feel like it. Bonus entry if you tweet a link to this post using the hashtag #letsgetawakedrunkyall. As far as exchanging addresses and actually sending the shit as promised, we’re just going to have to trust each other, right?