least-read posts of 2012

So I’m pretty sure I stole this idea from RunShorts four or five years ago, and I’m stealing it again tonight because it’s just a good idea. You rarely see worst posts posts. Boggling! They’re self-serving and self-deprecating at the same time! So get into it: my most under-appreciated blog posts of 2012.

Peepaws watch out – 76 views. This is the one where I go running after eating a whole box of shells and cheese and it just proves that you people really don’t appreciate the sacrifices I make for this blog. Well, Jess does because she’s the only one who commented on this post.

The week in decisions – 74 views. Awkward references to pumping breast milk, nipples, blisters, fat thighs; WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT?

Don’t grumble, give a whistle – 72 views. In which I make fun of AIDS and Jesus. Quite possibly the most overlooked, offensive post I’ve ever written. Zzzzzzzz.

Day 12060 – more of the same – 66 views. This one was a warm reminder for me of that terrible period of time before we figured out babies where it was taking upward of two hours a night to get the baby to go to bed. Turns out, if you just stop messing with them and let them go to sleep, they go to sleep. There should probably be some sort of disclaimer following that statement but I’m going to let it go.

The future is here – 66 views. Apparently nobody appreciates the magic of cellulite hot pants.

“It’s all about the hustle.” – 59 views. This one is pretty worthless, but the comments are pure comedy gold.

Burning questions you aren’t asking – 50 views. Despite all indications to the contrary, this post was actually incredibly introspective and thought-provoking. You probably just didn’t get it.

Easy Friday is easy. Like your mom – 46 views. In your defense dearies, this post was quite literally about nothing. Filler. You know, the kind of blog post that would get 196 comments if only I’d thought to include a couple of Instagram selfies and a recipe for gluten-free waffles.

Apocalypse? – 45 views. This is the one where I am afflicted with a mystery bug, brutally attacked by a vicious swarm of mosquitoes and chased by a rabid (probably) labradoodle. And none of you even gave a damn.

What did you do in 2012 that nobody gave a shit about?


19 thoughts on “least-read posts of 2012

  1. This is the best 2012 recap post I’ve seen yet. Excellent work.

    We got one of those beer can chicken rack thingies for xmas and I haven’t used it yet. Any tips?

    • Heh, we had ours for years before we finally used it! It’s pretty much idiot proof. I think ours said to stick an onion or potato on top to hold the moisture in. Use a neat thermometer just like you would a turkey to make sure it’s done. And my personal rule of cooking with beer: the beer should good enough to drink, but inexpensive enough to “waste” on cooking.

  2. I count for one of the views on each post, so there’s something! Also, three people at work LOVE those hot pants. I tried on a pair and they were terrible. No one gave a shit about most things I did in 2012, so I know how you feel!

  3. It looks like you made Orange Fanta can chicken. I’m assuming you just used a craft beer rather than the mass produced domestic gold you’d find in my fridge. Yep. That was my takeaway from this post.

    Oh, but I did click on pretty much all of those old posts so I’m gonna need you to go ahead and change the # of pageviews on all of them.

    • Hahahaha! Most people thought it was Tecate, but Orange Fanta is much more entertaining. ONE person actually guessed correctly: A Brooklyn East India Pale, but that person is obviously totes an alcoholic.

      Thanks for the page view$$$$! I hope those posts enhanced your life in some small but meaningful way.

  4. I was worried when I missed my New Year’s post that the Internets would be awash in best of, without a single list of worsts for cosmic balance. Like those posts you listed, I suspect this gift to the blogging community will also be under-appreciated.

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