a long run and some free shit

As the title implies, I did a long run today and that’s noteworthy because I haven’t done any runs over 10 miles in ages. I’ve been focusing on shorter, speedier runs but as I mentioned a few days ago, not having any double digits in my training log has sort of made me feel like a pathetic loser, so I set out to do 12 miles today purely for spite.

I’ve been successfully running 9 and 10 miles without any gels or food, so I figured what’s two more miles? You know where this is going: a lot, apparently. I started feeling hungry at seven (next to nausea, I think feeling hungry during a run is the worst), bonked hard at mile 10 and quit at 11. A mile early, but it was really, really over. That last mile was slow and joyless and every step felt like failure. I hate myself.

But really, today didn’t matter at all. I’m training for a seven mile race. I don’t have any reason to run 12 11 miles. But shut up, I had my reasons.


So I ran 10.5 miles and then because I was still a half mile from home, I ran another half mile. I finished in 1:40 with the last one at a 9:46 pace which is the slowest mile I’ve run all year. Woo? Okay, we can move on now.

So yeah, a while back my friend MILF wrote this amazing post about how she’s never gotten any free shit as a result of blogging. A few days later, someone who I have been calling Rose for years but whose name is not actually Rose, got some free shit for mentioning the post MILF wrote about not getting any free shit.* Are you still with me?

Then TODAY, I got some free shit I won in MILF’s shitty giveaway, which I think really indicates what a good sport she’s been about being the only blogger on the planet who’s never gotten any free shit.**

I’ve actually gotten a LOT of free shit because of this blog:

A shakoozie. I didn’t win this giveaway but Shelby is my in-real-life friend so she sent me one as a baby gift and probably as a pity prize.

[image source]

This apple calendar thing from AR’s shitty giveaway. (Why is it that I only win SHITTY giveaways??)

shitty apple calendar

A lot of beer. Which was exchanged so not technically free, but it sort of feels free when you find it on your doorstep. And this is a great picture of beer so I wanted to include it in this post.

I have to start drinking at 7 a.m. because that’s when the light is best for taking blog photos!

And now I can add to this impressive list of blogging-based fringe benefits MILF Runner’s used runner’s lube and BONUS DIY Garmin protective wrist band.



I might even use the lube even though it’s used lube. Because she has nice handwriting and everyone knows that people who have hepatitis or syphilis have terrible handwriting, and psychopaths don’t have nice handwriting either.

See the distinction?


[image source]

Free running shoes. Not ever.

*If I happen to get any free shit because of this post, I just want everyone know that I owe it all to MILF.
**She hasn’t been a good sport.


8 thoughts on “a long run and some free shit

  1. As soon as I read the title, I was hoping it was a MILF runner story! That calendar and lube is some cool yet shitty free shit! Not as cool as a fridge full of free yogurt of course.

    P.s. I go by Rose amongst certain people, and you can be one of them.

    Pps. Nice 11 miler, not a very slow ending at all. Eat up me hearteys next time so that you don’t get that awful weak feeling

    • Haven’t felt that awful weak feeling in a long time. Maybe bonking hard every once in a while is a good thing, you know, so I don’t get too full of myself. (Nah screw that, I can think of better ways to gain perspective.)

  2. I don’t get free stuff because I have a small, inconsequential blog that is mainly me running while injured than lamenting that I won’t heal. I got offered a free race entry a few times and I thought it was because of my awesome blog, but it turns out it was just nice boobs in a tiny jog bra. I recommend sizing down on the jog bra for more free stuff.

  3. Pingback: 21 ways the internet is trying to give you a seizure | Cheaper Than Therapy

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