fluke

It’s weird. Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I write a blog post I think is brilliant. I hit publish and wait expectantly for all the comments and praise to start pouring in and…

crickets-asshole

But when I angrily smash something out on my keyboard in 20 minutes, shut off the computer and go to bed, I wake up in the morning to find my blog has exploded.*

boom

The other day this nice girl in the comments asked, how on earth did I just now find your blog? It’s because this only happens about once a year or so and every other post I write is garbage. Sorry about that.

I noticed some people have been bulldozing my archives this week (awkward!) so I  wanted to say hi.

I’m Marie and I’m another failed healthy living blogger. I discovered healthy living blogs in 2009 when a blogger who shall remain nameless appeared on my radar because of some dream job fuckery that was making headlines on the social media and marketing sites (marketing used to be my day job and now I guess it’s sort of my night job? That kind of makes me sound like a hooker but let’s just go with it).

I was recovering from a bad ankle sprain and had a gained a few pounds so it seemed like a good idea to sign up for a half marathon and blog about it. Because nobody else in the world was doing that.

NEAT, RIGHT?

tommy

TLJ does not think you are neat.

Some things about back then:

  • I called myself “a pretty good runner” with a half marathon PR of 2:24. This is embarrassing for so many reasons but mostly because I now know there are a lot of 1:30 half marathoners who call themselves average.
  • I signed up for a half marathon with no base and gave myself 10 weeks to train. Oh, and I smoked.
  • I took pictures of oatmeal.
  • I once blogged my grocery list in earnest.

At some point, it occurred to me, I feel stupid. This is stupid. These people are all stupid. 

somebody give me a book deal

At least stand by your dump.

So I tried to stop writing things that were stupid and I began to write things I enjoyed reading. I stopped taking pictures of food and just took pictures of beer (because, baby steps). It was probably around the time of Marie Claire-gate that I realized there were a whole lot of people like me who had become nauseated by healthy living bloggers and that all the acrid commentary swirling around inside my head might have a venue on this blog.

If you want, go ahead and read my entire archive, even the shitty stuff (because, page view$!). But if you want to read my better work, skip to 2011. One of my personal favorite posts that I don’t think has gotten nearly enough play is this one: If healthy living blogs had existed in…

Anyway, so for a while there I was funny, but then I had a baby.

When I was pregnant, I remember somebody in a GOMI thread saying, babies are blog killers! I was so indignant! I was all like, NOT MY BLOG! My blog’s gonna be even fucking awesomer when I have a baby!

Yeah well, we all know what happened.

DAMN YOU, BABY!

DAMN YOU, BABY!

So I’ve scaled it back to once-a-week-or-so postings. I don’t want to stop blogging, and I don’t quite think I’ve become the Adam Sandler of obscure-beer-and-running-blogs yet, but you don’t ever know until it’s too late.

adam-sandler-jack-and-jill

Please don’t let this be me.

I will say I think I have a couple good posts left in me before I reach 97% rotten status. And plus, there are so many obnoxious gifs I haven’t used yet.

*Relatively.

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22 thoughts on “fluke

  1. I’m one of the archive bulldozers. I found your blog through the exploding post and wanted to see what else you had to say (which was fabulous). I look forward to the good posts before it goes putrid (and the 3% good after that)!

  2. Ok, the “If HLBs had existed when” post is killing me. YOU MUST TRY STALE POCKET CORN MUFFINS. YOU SIMPLY MUST!!

    I used to read nameless blogger – I think – for a few months. This was before I really started running. Once I got into it a little more I realized that the HLBs don’t know what they are talking about. They claim expertise in areas in which they are novices themselves! This occurred to me because I was on a similar training cycle with a certain blogger and I kept reading her really bad, shoddy, pathetic workout attempts and realizing that she was putting in about 1/20th of the effort I was – but was posing as an inspiration and a guide. Then the product reviews started to kill my soul, and I was sick of reading revolting recipes (if you can call them recipes!) and I dropped the habit. Meanwhile, I had started an unimaginative blog that had nothing to do with running: I started running while blogging and my blog morphed over time. Now I write about running and read about running!

    • I think it’s amazing you’ve only been running a little while and you’re so fast! And I get what you mean. It’s funny how a runner’s ego is often *inversely* proportional to their ability (of course there are exceptions).

      • Pfft. Not fast. And I came back to add that I found you through Angry Runner, but for some reason none of your posts showed up for me for like 8 months. I just thought you had a baby and were taking a break. Then I realized that actually you posted like four times during that period. Naw, just kidding. But I’m sorry to have missed all that sarcastic goodness!

  3. I think I found your blog somewhere in 2011 from a comment on angry runner or eat drink run. I thought you three were the coolest funniest blogs there were (still do obvi). I remember loving one post about how to make your writing funny… Ring a bell?

    So what made your blog blow up!? The only time my stats go crazy is when I end up on gomi.

    • I do remember that post, I’m touched you liked it because I’m sorta fond of that one too. The blow-up post was on how to be a #motherrunner. Obnoxious. =D
      Pretty sure I found your blog by way of eat drink run too. She’s a tramp. (XO SHELBY)

  4. My favorite was still the one about giving up breathing, or something equally ridiculous.

    I don’t care if you write once a week or once a year, I’ll still read it 🙂

  5. ::Okay my mind is blown right now about the nameless blogger and the marketing debacle.::

    Moving on, I think I found you through the comments at Eat, Drink, and Run. I less than three you all!

  6. I only wish I had discovered you sooner. Damn Kara for not linking to more of your posts. Reading your blog makes me feel like I fit in somewhere. I’m not quite up to your snark status yet though. I still like to post regularly about being somewhat healthy (although lately, I’m just hormonal), but I’m working on it…

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