training update + national running day recap! (no just kidding, please still read this)

OMG NATIONAL RUNNING DAY! MUST WRITE INSPIRATIONAL POST ABOUT HOW MUCH RUNNING MEANS TO ME.

kirk-adorable

Studies show that .0000001% of the population observes National Running Day, which means by not posting this yesterday, I missed a really big opportunity to engage with new page viewer$.

Anyway, the last time you heard from me, I had nearly succumbed to a rather revolting illness, so I thought I should probably reassure you that I am in fact alive and well and still running.

thank god gif

I’ve never been that great at posting regular updates on my training. Actually, I’ve never been able to commit to any regular posts on this blog. Not even–GASP–posts about my baby. I think I managed to do four months of baby updates before I gave up. It’s not that I hate my baby, it just felt really awkward and contrived whenever I sat down and tried to write a formal update about her. I’m better off just letting the photos speak for themselves.

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Aren’t I so cute you just wanna pay me?

I think my longest streak was the Friday haiku series, which lasted approximately 16 weeks. Yeah that’s right, I’ve done more haiku posts than I’ve done baby updates. But in my defense, a 5-7-5 is a lot easier to come up with on the fly than all new information that makes your baby seem interesting to a bunch of people who mostly seem to hate babies. (I forgive you, readership!)

I’d LIKE to do regular training updates though, if for no other reason than hey, that’s a blog post! But the truth is that a) I don’t really do anything noteworthy enough to warrant weekly documentation. Ooooh, 35 miles a week! We got a badass here!; and b) I’m not even training for anything right now. My husband’s work hours are changing temporarily and Saturday races (so pretty much all races) are out unless I want to schlep the baby along with me or pay someone to watch her and yeahhhh, nah.

But anyway, so the running.

sleeepy

After a couple of lame weeks, I finally got my shit together (OMGZLITERALLY) and ran 36 miles last week. I wanted to do a long run, but I thought better of it (for once) and did some “light” (read: halfass) lifting at the gym instead. This week I’ve done 20 miles so far, including a really good (FOR ME) tempo and some speed work. You know, to prepare for all the races I’m not doing.

I also did 1750 yards in the pool this morning, which might be a record for me. It always amuses me how I can go out and run in circles for two hours but 30 minutes in the pool makes me want to kill myself.

in circles

Right now, the arbitrary number of miles a week I’d like to be doing is 40, but every time I get up there, my knees start feeling wonky (although two consecutive cutback weeks in a row has really helped). I’m trying to do at least two non-running workouts a week, which is probably the bare minimum to avoid injury, but I just can’t bring myself to do more than that. It feels like a waste of time. PROFESSIONAL RUNNER HERE, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO WHAT I DO!

I’m also trying to run outdoors as much as possibly because I know it won’t be long before its painfully hot outside and temps are in the 80s by 4 a.m.

[AWKWARD PAUSE]

sitdown

Gosh, what else has been going on around here?

We’re also trying to get the baby be outside as much as possible while we can. Another thing that happens in the summertime is that our backyard is overrun with fucking geese from the “lake” (read: retention pond) behind our house. Our neighbor’s house and ours get the worst of it because we have some big shade trees and flower beds where they like to shit and lay eggs. We’ve tried everything short of poisoning them, but we’re thisclose. Anyone have this problem? What works for you?

So we took her to the zoo on Monday, which was lovely. I know some people think zoos are evil but the one in Indy is pretty nice and all the animals seemed happy. I’m sure it’d be better if they were all out frolicking and shitting in my backyard like the geese, but we can’t all be so lucky. Anyway, the baby had a good time and that’s all that matters.

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I heard in a song that fish don’t have any feelings, so it’s cool.

Another fun thing that happened at the zoo: somebody parked their car like four inches from our mirror and I had to like, suck in my gut and scoot sideways to get into the car. Don’t worry, I left them some hatemail. Because we were there first.

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Have you ever left hatemail on someone’s car? Do you think my handwriting makes me look like a serial killer?

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26 thoughts on “training update + national running day recap! (no just kidding, please still read this)

  1. Love it! Had a friend in college who used to carry around these little cards she’d put on cars that said something to the effect of “I hope you don’t fuck like you park, or you’d never get it in.”

  2. Can’t you get some kind of goose harassing dog? I can lend you mine. No returns.

    I love the heart on the note. Classy touch.

    I set arbitrary mileage goals all the time. In my mind I’m doing 2 races next month but my husband still needs to breathe into a paper bag when I talk about leaving both kids with him for a day. Combat trained my ass. Marine boy needs to man up.

  3. Glad you left the hate mail. Can’t tell you how many times I wanted to do that!!!! I need to keep paper and pen in my car.

  4. I have never left hatemail, but here is my favorite found one!

    edited: i posted a picture but you can’t see it 😦

    double edit: it is funny so I will rewrite it. All spaces and punctuation are as is:

    “What are you an Ass Hole – Move your fucking Car – Next time I’ll Hit it – (blocking lane)”

  5. I think the heart + crowbar reference makes you look like a serial killer. That’s OK, though: scaring the close-parkers is a bonus!

  6. Annoying, really super annoying, GIFs were so awesome.

    Your note was really good but unwaranted. If the other car was on that line, then yeah, but not where it is.

    • PFFFT. Technicality. I would never pull into a spot that left me or the other person no space to even open the door. It was not only unnecessary but also retarded.

  7. Coming from the Chicago suburbs, we’d get overrun by geese and their poop every summer. The last time I visited family, I noticed several life-sized German shepherd cutouts, affixed so they could swing with the breeze, positioned around the ponds in the neighborhood. Those with dogs had no geese; the ponds without fake dogs were teeming with them. You can buy them online (kinda pricey – see “watchdoggoosepatrol” for examples) or attempt an awesome craft project in your garage so we can get bloody power tool gifs.

    • Oooh, and then I could pin it on Pinterest!! My old employers used to have fake coyotes out front, it seemed to work reasonably well, and they had a lot more ground to cover.

  8. I’ve totally left hatemail tucked under a windshield wiper…and the googlemaps image of our house was taken on THAT day and even showed it. I wrote it on a 2 foot by 3 foot piece of paper in giant Sharpie lettering. Didn’t want them to miss it. Repeat offenders parked in my fucking driveway.

    I LOVE babies. I love seeing baby updates. And yours is super cute. Then again I CAN’T run anymore so any topic of conversation gets me juiced.

    • Now that’s something to aspire toward. MUST GET BIGGER POST-ITS.
      …and I know what you mean, whenever I can’t run I despise all runners. I hope you’re okay! =(

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