You’ll have to forgive me for being a bad American and a terrible blogger: I didn’t do a 4th of July fun run last week and I didn’t have a party with red, white and blue food. But if I know you guys, you probably feel the same way I do about pictures of other people’s food and friends:
I did something much more American on the 4th of July: I drank a lot of beer, got a rash and later topped it off with about three dozen mosquito bites. I did manage to do some running but it was all very inconsequential so I won’t even bore you with the details (until tomorrow).
So, the rash though. Apparently when you use that non-organic probably cancer-causing mosquito repellent, you’re supposed to wash it off before you
pass out go to bed and not use very much of it because well, it’s a fucking pesticide and anything that can kill an insect can probably kill a human if used in sufficient quantities. #thingsthatshouldreallybeinlargerscriptonthebackofthebottle
I woke up Friday morning with tiny, itchy bumps all over my arms and legs (and inexplicably, my ears). After that, I decided that me and mosquito repellent were fucking done professionally and I’d take my chances with the mosquitoes. You know where this is going.
We sat outside Sunday night and killed a growler of Floyd’s Folly. Tangent: it’s an 8% ABV Scottish ale from Cutter’s, which is out of Bloomington but just opened a tasting room near our house.
We fogged the grass and lit our citronella torches, but I still somehow managed to be eaten alive by mosquitoes. These mosquitoes were so ambitious, they burrowed right through my shirt and left an impressive cluster of bites all over my back, right where my sports bra goes.
So I took an oatmeal bath and a lot of Benadryl, both of which felt nice temporarily but really didn’t do any good. I just wish I had pictures to show you but let’s assume it went something like this:
Here’s some more exciting news: I found a race to run! It’s not until October, but I’m really excited about it. My husband works odd hours so most Saturday races don’t work for us, but this one is an afternoon race at a winery about an hour away, so we’re all going to truck down there and do it together.
Did I mention it’s at a winery? So I probably won’t take it too seriously (ie I’ll be drunk before the start), but I’ll blog about it with the same smug sense of accomplishment you’d expect from someone who is training for Badwater.
Are there mosquitoes as big as your face where you live? Have you ever taken an oatmeal bath? What’s the most amount (greatest number?) of alcoholic drinks you’ve ever had before a race? Why doesn’t anybody ever answer my questions in bold?