Yeah so, ordinarily we save the baby milestones for our private baby book, because really, who other than the parents are awestruck by a baby doing pretty much all the same shit every other baby is doing?
But lately every time I see her I am shocked at how grown up she looks and so today I was compelled to do a blog post that for once is not complaining about her or ridiculing other mommy bloggers. Get into it!
She sleeps! When she’s not teething or otherwise afflicted, she goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up around 7:00. We have a white noise machine and we (or maybe just I) cannot live without it. I’m telling you, anybody who doesn’t have one is a chump. Here’s another unsolicited tip: if you don’t want to spring for blackout curtains, garbage bags taped to the windows work just as well.
Except she’s teething like fuck right now. Most babies we’ve seen have nearly a full set by 18 months, but she didn’t cut her first tooth until 7-1/2 months and still only had two teeth when she was a year old. I feared they would all start popping out at once and that’s exactly what happened. Last month she had six teeth and a tiny bit of a molar peeking through. Now she has TEN. So she’s had a rough time, but we’re pretty liberal with the medication.
She babbles. I thought she was behind on her talking, probably because I read blogs and blogger babies come out of the womb speaking the King’s English. But our doctor assures us she’s fine. (No, not just FINE. A-MAzing. Our doctor tells us our child is highly advanced and exceptionally good-looking. He calls us at home to congratulate us on having such an advanced, good-looking child. Are you jealous?)
We’re trying to encourage more two-word phrases. She says Daddy mow (when she hears a lawnmower anywhere), thank you (if prompted) and bye kitty. The other day she said daddy’s poop. We were outside, so it didn’t make any sense but I told her good girl anyway.
Some of her favorite single words are hi, byeee, daddy, ew, uh-oh, kiki (kitty), shoes, no no no no no no and NOOOO. She’ll do farm animal sounds if you ask her (moo, bah, nay, oink, etc.). Sometimes she calls me daddy (but I can’t get her to call me Big Papa). And when she says her name it sounds like teensy. Just lately, she repeats eeeeverything we say, so we’ve had to curtail the stream of swear words.
She loves shoes. I don’t know where she gets it because I’m kind of a tomboy. I wear two pairs of shoes and one of them is the Kinvaras. If it were up to me, she’d wear sensible kicks all the time, but a few of my more compassionate family members have bought her some fun shoes and she genuinely prefers them to the sensible ones. But most of all, she prefers shoes that are 19 sizes too big.
She’s tall. 75th percentile! So she looks like a three-year-old but she can’t talk. We get a lot of sympathetic glances.
She loves to dance. She seems to be especially fond of disco, and the girl can move. I feel like we need to do a better job of playing toddler music for her, because I’m told it helps kids adjust to pre-school when they go there and hear familiar songs. But let’s be honest: toddler music sucks.
She loves to splash. We just bought her one of those little sprinkler thingies from Target, so we do that a lot.
Something I love is watching her play with other babies. I don’t have any friends with kids her age so I have to go out of my way to find her other small people to play with.
We do the library story times and the stroller workout groups and all that shit, so she gets a reasonable amount of toddler time. And we do plan to give her a sibling someday. That way, she’ll have a small person she’ll be forced to play with and I will finally be free to blog three times a day!!!
Do you have a baby or do you prefer to just keep cats for now? Did you read this or just look at the pictures?