hillbilly highway

I was away! Did you miss me?? We went on a road trip and I was off the internets for three whole days. I’m pretty sure everyone’s life revolves around me and my blog, so I just want to thank you all so much for allowing me some time to unplug even though I know it must have been incredibly difficult for you.


Bubbles: the poor baby’s iPad.

So the last time we road tripped, we left right at nap time with the assumption that Kenzie would sleep the whole way. LOLZ. She screamed the whole way and fell asleep as we pulled into the driveway. So this time, we let her nap at home and left as soon as she woke up. It made such a difference. She was awake for the four hour drive to St. Louis but she was rested and happy.


That’s the Mississippi River. The mighty Mississip, the Ole Miss, the Old Man. Deeeeeep River. Clark, I think this is the wrong exit!

We stayed overnight Thursday in STL and continued to Clinton, MO on Friday. I didn’t have big plans to run over the weekend. Clinton is a tiny old town and I wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of running around in circles on brick sidewalks. I knew the Katy Trail was nearby (240 miles of fine gravel, no cars and no goddamn people) but I didn’t realize how near. It turns out the trail head is just a two mile run from Grandma and Paw-Paw’s house!


I was just going to run a few miles but when I reached the trail, I got all excited and didn’t want to turn around. I’m still being careful with my shin but I managed to do eight miles, my longest run since the “injury,” and five more on Saturday.


Except I don’t carry a camera when I run so I had to steal this from the internet.

Kenzie and her great-grandparents have met, but they haven’t seen her since she’s become a more functional walking and talking human being. Obviously, they are nuts about her.


The old guy reads stories better than you, mommy.

By the way, great-grandma Lois is famous for her creepy dolls, which have been documented here before. This one is by far the creepiest.

On Sunday we drove from Clinton to Quincy, IL. It was a mind-numbingly boring drive on a a two-lane highway winding through corn fields and and we didn’t even get out of the car because you never known when you might get Human Centipeded or Deliveranced or Children of the Corned.


He wants you too, Malachai! I’m pretty sure I make that joke every time there’s corn. Sorry.

Kenzie met her second-cousin Ani and they quickly became besties. They played peek-a-boo and handed each other things, and even though it looks like she’s trying to jam her fingers in Ani’s soft spot, Kenzie was really very gentle, which gives us hope should we ever make the mistake of having another baby.


Is this her self-destruct button?

She also really enjoyed putting mulch on Abby the cat.


You need some more right here, kitty.

We tried to take a cute photo of us holding each other’s babies, but some of us got distracted.



Sunday night, we grilled kebabs and drank white wine and Milwaukee’s Best and got eaten alive by chiggers. I didn’t take any pictures because I was too drunk to work the camera.

scene missing

We had another long, boring drive home yesterday, but I actually prefer driving with a baby to flying because at least you can pull over when things get rough and you don’t have dozens of people glaring at you as you sing If You’re Happy and You Know It for the 3000th time. But, no cocktails.

Thanks for INDULGING ME by reading this blog post! Sorry no bikini pics. My parents are flying in on Thursday so I’m hoping to pawn the baby off on them and do a long run, provided my tibia cooperates.

walk it off pussy

Do you like to fly or drive? I lived in Texas for a year before the open container law was passed, and it definitely made road trips a lot more bearable. As long as you weren’t the driver.



12 thoughts on “hillbilly highway

  1. I watched National Lampoon’s Vacation a couple weeks ago. So many great lines in that movie. Also, that movie could never happen today, what with GPS and the internet and all that. 2013 is so lame.

  2. I just love Kenzie. I have a soft spot when I see adorable toddlers in the middle of my workday.

    We took a 6 hour one way road trip Memorial Day weekend. Cold day in hell when I do that again. (aka December)

  3. My 4 year old hates the car and therefore I (and we all) prefer flying. It was easier to fly to San Francisco than it was to drive to Tallahassee (4 hours away).

    Jealous of your 8-mile run. Oh to have the energy to run again…

  4. Of all the funny things involved in this post, the one item I find the most funny: Gramps has a dictionary on his side table. I love that he has this at hand for emergencies. (You know, like when his smart phone is charging in the other room.)

  5. Pingback: unnoteworthy runs I’ve done recently | Cheaper Than Therapy

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