You know those brain dump/photo dump posts people do? When they don’t have anything useful to say, but they’d still like to put something on the internet in a pathetic attempt to remain relevant? Well, I’ve got five or six partial blog posts festering in my drafts right now that will never, ever turn into actual blog posts, so I thought I’d paste them all into one incoherent ramble and let you people sort it out.
What’s in my drafts!
1. Why I like to drink my calories
Have you heard people say I like to EAT my calories thankyouverymuch!? Usually as they’re turning their nose disdainfully away from a cocktail or soft drink? I would like to offer an argument to the contrary and I think once you read it, you’ll agree with me.
- Liquid calories are easier to digest.
- Drinks never make you feel full. You can consume beverages pretty much unceasingly. The same cannot be said for sandwiches.
- Drinking doesn’t make you fat. (As long as you’re not also eating.)
- Alcohol can make you forget your problems in a way that a cupcake cannot.
And that’s as far as I got.
2. Bullshit stock expressions you need to stop using
This was one where I was going to list a bunch of stupid things people say all the time, but I got bored with it and never finished. Here’s what I managed to come up with:
A stock expression is something you say when you don’t really have anything to say, or when you can’t think of something genuine or original so you just say some bullshit. It’s filler. But if you remove the filler from blog posts, there would be no blog posts! What a conundrum. Here are some examples:
- geeking out
- channeling my inner…
- Best. _____ . Ever.
- icing on the cake
- like the plague
- truth be told/to tell you the truth/honestly/quite frankly
- Trust me.
- Rookie mistake.
3. This video.
There was going to be a whole blog post around this video, but I let it sit too long and forgot the point I was going to make. Anyway, watch the video.
4. Who are we hate-mailing this week?
Except I haven’t hate-mailed anyone! So really this is just a clever title with no substance. Rest assured, next time I hate mail somebody, there will be a blog post about it.
5. Beer roundup!
This could be a legitimate blog post if only I could think of some words to put around all the pictures of beers I have.
Any dumps you’d like to share?