looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

This week, I PRed at running (unofficially, but fuck off), and my daughter PRed at staying awake! #motherrunner #proudmama #soblessed #killme
It’s a good thing I don’t have a real job or serve any purpose whatsoever because I totally would have called in fake sick this week.
Bitch, please.

Bitch, please.

There is one good thing about having a toddler who wakes up at soul-crushing hours of the morning: we beat the heat. I haven’t used an alarm clock since the day she was born and I never sleep through the coolest hours of the day. I did 10 miles yesterday at an 8:50 pace and a stroller 5k this morning in 26:46, about 30 seconds faster than my official stroller PR. For whatever reason, this week’s sleep strike has had an incredible effect on my running.

But holy fuck, THE HUMIDITY.

The YMCA has what they call a Family Center with this big play thingy the kids can climb on and crawl around in, so I like to let Kenzie play in there after I run.


This is my reward for sitting in the stroller and eating snacks for half an hour.

I’m used to being a soggy mess when I go in there, but this week I reached an all-time low. Yesterday I walked in there visibly soaked, today I was still dripping.

who peed on me

And I’m always surprised by how non-disgusting all the other moms look. Do they work out and then shower, blow dry their hair, get dressed and put on makeup? Or do they not work out at all and just go there to let their kids play? And if so, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?


This conversation is cutting into my running time!

Anyway, in other news about me, my MIL is coming to visit this weekend so naturally I want to take advantage of the free childcare and do a race. I have some options very near my home (WHICH NEVER EVER EVER EVER HAPPENS): a half marathon and a 5k or 10k.

I don’t really want to do a 5k because I’m just not that fast. I could do the 5k with Kenzie, which essentially makes it not really a race (or I could go for a 5k stroller PR which essentially makes it not fun). I could do the 10 without Kenzie and definitely PR (I haven’t raced a 10k in years), or the 7:30 a.m. half marathon in which I could possibly PR, but definitely, totally screw over my MIL by asking her get up at the crack of dawn (which she would totally do because she’s too nice to say no).


wrong week

22 thoughts on “looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

  1. I wrote a really cool response, but when I tried to login using “twitter” the entire message was erased.

    So this is the bullshit message you get tonight.

  2. I guess the 10K sounds like the logical solution. Although if it were MY mother-in-law, I might go with the half, just so it was more time I was away from her ……

  3. If the races were on different days I’d say you should do the 10K and the half. It would be like your own mini Dumbo Double Dare and you’d save $$$.

    I’d race the 10k if it’ll be humid still. I’m a wimp and would want perfect race day conditions for a PR attempt.

    • OOOOH AND I COULD WEAR ALL MY MEDALS AROUND ALL DAY! It is actually going to be perfect racing weather but a HM PR is probably a little too ambitious on such short notice.

  4. I’ll buck the trends here after I yell at you…

    Do the 5K without a stroller (fuckin mileposts wannabe) and just go for it. Run the shit out of it. I’ll bet you can beat my old lady PR. Leave the baby at home with the MIL, go shower at the Y post-race and then out to a kid-free, nice, leisurely celebratory brunch with your baby-daddy. Do not race the half…injury risk! Be safe!

  5. I would do the 10k, but if the MIL sitch is preventing you from doing the half, do the half. My mom always says for her to get up early once is not a big deal since she doesn’t do it every day.

    Oh and on the moms at the gym thing…I work out at a gym that is very heavily attended by SAHM’s. They always look awesome and their kids adorable as they walk in and out each day. I look like a train wreck as I am still sweating in my work attire most days. Sigh. At least I did something?

  6. you have probably decided by now, but I vote the 10 or the half for sure! And I guess the choice depends on how much you like your MIL? Or how much of a morning person she is? heh. Good luck!!

  7. Another vote for the 10k here. 5k’s suck, and a HM would be way too tiring in your sleep-deprived state. 10k=automatic PR! How can you say no to that?

  8. Pingback: On the Wabash-Heritage Trail (half marathon race report) | Cheaper Than Therapy

  9. Pingback: who I’m hating (spoiler: pretty much everyone at the gym) | Cheaper Than Therapy

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