birthday funsies

So right after that race I ran on Thanksgiving, my running took a dump. I’d really like to do a blog post about it some time before 2014, but first I want to share what we did for my daughter’s second birthday. Yeah, her birthday was like a week ago but fuck it.


What’s a birthday?

We didn’t have a party this year, because honestly I think parties for 2 year olds can be a little obnoxious. She hangs out with her toddler friends and gets whatever she wants all the time anyway, so we didn’t think she was missing out on any big milestone event. Maybe next year we’ll throw her a party she’ll possibly remember. But we did cram in a bunch of other fun activities so don’t call CPS on us, okay?

We took her to the Children’s Museum the day before her birthday, when her admission was still free. Yeah, we could have lied about her age but we are good law-abiding citizens and we wanted to do the right thing. (But she’s so fucking tall, we’ve been getting side-eyes from ticket-takers for the last six months anyway.)


We waited in line to go down this slide longer than it took to go down the slide.

Indy’s children’s museum is supposedly the dopest children’s museum in the country. Or the largest, I forget. We’ve never been there before, and we probably would have taken her a lot sooner if it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to get in. Seriously, 18 bucks and they’re only open from 10-5. In order to get the very most for our money, we peeled out of the driveway as soon as Kenzie woke up from her nap.


There was this thingy where you put these little fabric butterflies into a tube and press a button and it blows them up out of the top. She did it about 37 times.

Another cool thing they have is the Playscape. It’s a bunch of hands-on stuff designed for little kids like sand, water, music, and balls.


So many balls.

On Kenzie’s actual birthday, we waited until husband was home from work so we could watch her open her presents together. As soon as she went down for her nap, I got busy.


BALLOONS!! She didn’t even notice that there were presents.

Kenzie has a fuckload of stuffed animals and dolls, so I really didn’t want to get her any more, but when I saw the Yo Gabba Gabba beanies (her favorite show), I couldn’t resist. I just didn’t anticipate her insisting that she carry them around with her at all times.


MY friends.

And she got a giant cupcake cake with chocolate frosting, which several Facebook friends were kind enough to point out resembled a turd.

When you blow the turd, blow gently.

When you blow on a turd, blow gently.

And now my little girl is two!


For reference, here’s what she looked like the day we brought her home from the hospital, all sleepy and wrinkly:

edcamera 020

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did! I’ll try to come back real soon with some content that’s not all LOOK AT MY BABY LOOK AT MY BABY.

What do you like to do for your kid’s birthday? Or if you don’t have a kid, your dog/cat.


15 thoughts on “birthday funsies

  1. I’m resisting the urge to give Bella, our new dog, an obnoxious and embarrassing birthday celebration next month. It’s hard to resist though….

  2. We did the whole birthday party thing for the Spawn when he turned 2. It was so stressful having all those people in your house who refuse to get drunk because it’s a party that started at noon … like I ever let that stop me. Next year, we’re taking that party offsite. Also, Kenzie is adorable, and she’s going to make a lovely wife for my son.

    • ❤ I thought your party was very nice and not obnoxious! But yeah, I also couldn't come up with a good (meaning free) offsite solution for a December birthday party. It'll be a relief when she's old enough to roller skate.

  3. I make a tye dye birthday cake for my baby every birthday who just turned two this past June. First birthday party was that day too. It exhausted him. I agree. Birthday parties should start at four or so. His brother didn’t really enjoy one unit around then.

  4. To me, CPS = Chicago Public Schools, which is probably why in these parts we call it DCFS – Dept of Child and Family Services. I think. I dunno, either way, I’m totes calling them.

    • I think they actually call it DCS here but whatever. I will also call the Bureau of Motor Vehicles the DMV until the day I die. BECAUSE I MAKE MY OWN RULES..

  5. She’s 2! She’s too damn old for birthdays. Though I suppose maybe next year you can treat her to a thimble sized shot, but there is no reason for that party shit. Tell her to get a damn job already!

  6. I like how you’re stepping up your blogging game by working a shitfood pic AND an adorable toddler birthday into the SAME post. One of our old family birthday traditions was I would make a birthday cake with a square bottom layer and a circle top. We did this for years and my stepkids thought I was super cool and original…which I am. But the reason I made the cakes that ways was entirely because we were totally broke and those were the only pans we had. Nobody had a party this year except me because I was the only one who deserved it 🙂

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