I was stuck inside with a toddler for two whole days you guys! Someone should pay me! I know there are people without water and power and also people who have real jobs, but I had to do a body weight workout on the floor of my living room! I’ll give you a moment to imagine how agonizing it was for me.
TEOTWAWKI started Saturday with a trip to the grocery store at the crack of 9 a.m., which is about as early as I can get out of the house anymore because Kenzie insists on eating breakfast, watching a cartoon and putting on real clothes before we go anywhere. But she sleeps in, so I can’t complain.
Here’s what I found.
Also, I was that assfuck who realizes at checkout that she left her wallet in the car. Instead of voiding out the sale and making me take my items back through the line (which is what I would have done and what SHOULD have happened) this bonehead cashier WAITS FOR ME to run out to my car and get it, pushing my toddler in one of those despicable race-car carts with a janky wheel (although for a split second I did consider leaving her in the store). So I return to a line eight-deep of people who are boring holes into me like they want to hatefuck my face to death. And I would have deserved it.
But a friend told me things got much worse later on that day:
The weather was actually pretty nice on Sunday. We got close to a foot of snow, but the temperature stayed above freezing all day and there was no wind until after dark. We took Kenzie outside to play for a while and she had a ball.
Our streets weren’t plowed yet, but there were tire tracks on the road that were somewhat packed down and obviously I was running really slow, so it wasn’t that bad. I even saw another dude out running, and a guy cross-country skiing down our street. (Not as cool as the time I saw a dude ice-skating down our street, but still pretty cool.) It ended up being the last time I left the house until until Wednesday.
On Monday I (idiotically) planned to possibly venture out in the afternoon, even it was just to the YMCA to flail around in the pool for a bit and let Kenzie see other humans.
But the whole fucking city shut down and my husband informed me that there was a three foot frozen snow drift against the garage.
So I thought it might be fun to post Instagrams of my thermostat readings and then make a Vine of me standing outside and throwing a cup of hot water in the air and watching it freeze, but I remembered I don’t have a smartphone.
Plan B: quality family time!
It was all really beautiful and special until around 3:30 when we had played with every toy in the house and she was sick of looking at my face.
Luckily Daddy came home and made a fire, and the only thing Kenzie loves more than being outside is fire.
On Tuesday I had big plans to create a graphic with my super fun home workout ideas for people to share on Pinterest, but it turns out everybody already knows how to do burpees and jumping jacks.
But that’s a story for another day! Stay tuned for part two of my snowbound journey…
KIDDING! I’m done. That’s really all I can remember and since it’s Thursday, it’s no longer relevant anyway.
To celebrate our deliverance from isolation, I took the kid to the YMCA pool on Wednesday and then I had a really nice run on the treadmill. Turns out two days of being completely sedentary was exactly what I needed to achieve that elusive 29 minute 5K.