PSA/what I’m hating: maternity leggings edition

So these leggings? Suck so hard I’m dedicating an entire blog post to them.

I bought them from Target when I was pregnant with Kenzie, and this time around I was determined never to wear them again. They were in the Goodwill pile until laundry day this week when I had nothing else to wear. So I decided to give them another shot and they’re just as horrible as I remember.

This woman's crotch is all sweaty and her leggings won't stay up.

Don’t be fooled: this woman’s crotch is all sweaty and her leggings won’t stay up.

First of all, they’re “seamless.” Target’s crack team of copywriters would have you believe this is a positive; what it really means is that there’s nothing to hold them up. If I’m not sitting perfectly still, these leggings are working their way down my thighs at a furious pace. The only thing worse than feeling my thighs rub together when I walk is feeling my bare thighs rub together where there should be pants.

Second, they don’t breathe. They’re a cotton-spandex blend and they feel really soft to the touch, but when you put them on it feels like you’re wearing pantyhose. Even if I liked the way these fit, I’m too apprehensive about swamp ass to feel comfortable wearing them in public. Just in case I haven’t been clear about this, they make me feel like I smell. I’ve never had this problem with any other leggings, maternity or otherwise.

Last, they’re sheer. And they’re not just sheer when you’re in downward dog; they’re sheer when you’re upright at the grocery store. You’d have to wear them with a dress or a long sweater and I think that 50% defeats the purpose of leggings.

I already told you about how I got some really dope leggings for Christmas. They are technically running tights but I wear them for everything, and I guess the lesson here is that maternity leggings are another one of those stupid things you have to pay good money for if you want quality. (But if anyone knows of some nice, comfortable full-coverage, non-swamp assy, maternity leggings that stay put and don’t cost 70 bucks, please let me know!)

In my happy pants.

Here’s me wearing the good ones. You’ll have to take my word for it that my crotch isn’t all sweaty.

Have you ever hated a purchase so much you needed to tell everyone you know? 

P.S. I loved reading all your comments on my last post! And now I know the key to drawing all you lurkers out of the woodwork: an ENTIRE POST made of questions in bold.


14 thoughts on “PSA/what I’m hating: maternity leggings edition

  1. Seconding the Motherhood Maternity recommendation. Super comfy and they don’t break the bank. I live in friggin North Dakota so I’ve been wearing them under regular pants for extra warmth (because there is nothing you want more when your preggosaurus than layers on your already huge ass).

  2. Yes, I’ve bought things I’ve disliked enough to want to warn the world. #ProCompression

    My first pregnancy I was all over “over the belly” pants. Then I discovered the super wide “under the belly” pants and fell in love. They were also better for after giving birth but before losing the belly. I wish I still had some. I have the problem of very narrow hips so I was (am) constantly hiking my pants up.

    You are so smiley and cute!

  3. I do believe I have the capri version of those Target pants and I could not agree more with your assessment. They are utterly worthless. I mean…are they tights or pants? I can’t even tell! And by the time I’ve tromped around my closet trying to decide WTF to wear with them the crotch is at kneecap level.

    I have a pair from Gap that are much better in terms of comfort/sag factor, but they’re still a little on the thin side. As in, I can’t wear them with printed underwear. But they were like 20 bucks and are fine for things like yoga class or bumming around. They go under the belly.

    You look so cute and sporty! #motherrunner #SOINSPIRATIONAL

  4. I’m creeping your comments in search of my own maternity leggings! I’m wearing my first pair of maternity pants to work today and they are super comfy. I’m going on a shopping spree this weekend because none of my regular work pants fit anymore and it’s too effing cold for dresses.
    I’m glad I found your blog. You are hilarious and helpful!

  5. I wore regular leggings (from Nordstrom Rack) with my last pregnancy because I couldn’t find any maternity ones that I loved. I amazingly wore them over the belly too. Looking back, I’m not really sure how that worked. Perhaps I found a pair of magical pants.

    I love telling people I hate something. Usually people don’t listen to me though.

  6. I bought those exact same leggings from Target when I was pregnant with the Spawn and they were THE WORST! I was constantly tugging at them. I looked like a crazy person in the office. I think I tried to wear them twice and then I threw them away. I bought two pair from Motherhood Maternity, and they were comfortable and perfect. So, that’s three votes for Motherhood Maternity.

  7. Pingback: 2014 according to my blog | Cheaper Than Therapy

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