hey breastfeeding moms, nobody cares

So did you guys hear about that lady who tweeted Delta to ask about their in-flight breastfeeding policy?

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I don’t want to give it any more attention than it’s already received, but I do just want to throw out a few things that came to mind when I heard this story.

I do not think the folks at Delta were trying to be assholes, I think they were trying to help. They were saying hey lady, if you’re anxious about breastfeeding on a mothafuckin’ plane (which is a plausible conclusion to draw, as she went to the trouble of asking them about it before her flight), you’re welcome to bring some pumped milk along with you. We allow that! With all the prohibited items, retinal scans and body cavity searches we have to go through to get on a plane these days, isn’t it nice to know that airlines allow moms to bring pumped milk onto a flight?

that's nice

Also, and this seems to be the major point of contention among breastfeeding moms every time something like this comes up: WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO COVER UP? So I’m going to TRY not to sound like a misogynistic asshole when I say this: nobody cares about your boobs.

Should you be able to breastfeed wherever the fuck you want? Of course. Should you be able to sit there with your boobs out, spraying milk all over the plane? Maybe, but could you try not to? Is it too much to ask that you acknowledge there are other people who also have needs, and that they are sitting less than two inches away from you? I guess I just feel like some moms give the rest of us a bad name by acting as if the whole world owes them a debt of gratitude just for existing. Why must everyone but you be courteous?

But none of that even matters! Because it wasn’t ever about whether or not she could nurse on the flight, or whether or not she should cover up. She tweeted them to start shit.

When you Tweet at a business like that, there’s an implied threat behind it. You’re doing it to provoke a confrontation, and you want other people to see it. Otherwise, you call them or email them like a normal human being.*

After Delta’s initial response, she (and others) continued to bait them, and then harangue them for an apology. ARE YOU SAYING I CANNOT BREASTFEED MY CHILD? ARE YOU GOING TO LET MY CHILD STARVE TO DEATH? LOOK, NOW YOU’VE GONE AND KILLED MY CHILD! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO APPEASE ME?i will end you

Unless you give me #freeshit…

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If all she wanted to do was feed her baby, why Tweet them about it at all?  I breastfed my baby on an airplane once and guess what? Nobody even said anything or knew about it because it was NO BIG DEAL. I didn’t even have to inform the Pentagon! (But maybe I should have made it a big deal because pageview$$!)

The way I see it, Delta’s mistake was not having some Advance Mommy Martyr Protection Verbiage all ready to go. If they had smelled that social media shitstorm right from the beginning and acted accordingly, they would be patting themselves on the back right now instead of doing damage control.

What do you think? Am I naive? Am I just super sheltered in my totally progressive, open-minded, free-boobing suburban Indiana (LOL) bubble? Or is there really an evil culture in our country against breastfeeding?

*This is funny too: she claims she DID try to call Delta before tweeting, but that she was put on hold for 45 minutes and was then told to tweet customer service about it. Goddamn it, are you kidding me? What do they tell meemaws and peepaws and other people with no internets or no Twitter? My husband has ZERO social media presence whatsoever, and If they told him to do this, he’d laugh his ass off and ask to speak with a manager. It just doesn’t sound like something they would actually ask a person to do. Hi, do you have a policy about ___? / Yeah probably but I’m busy right now, can you just tweet us?

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31 thoughts on “hey breastfeeding moms, nobody cares

  1. Yeah…she just wanted to stir shit up. I’ve breastfed pretty much everywhere WITHOUT PERMISSION and if anyone bothered to notice, they never said anything.

  2. I think the chick is dumb because, yeah, I would never ask if it was OK to BF uncovered ANYWHERE. She was definitely trying to start something. Most* people could give two shits about a babying BFing on a flight (or don’t even realize it’s happening). Would they rather have a screaming baby or see some boob (not that you really even see THAT much)?? However, I think Delta is stupid too. They should have shut the whole thing down right away or just ignored the responses, but instead they tweeted (from several different Delta twitter accounts from that I could tell) nonapologies until they later issued a statement about the whole thing.

    *I do know someone who thinks BFing uncovered in public is the equivalent of porn. She’s apparently has a “friend” with some kind of addiction and seeing woman BFing is a trigger for him — and she just want doesn’t understand why you can’t bring a bottle or cover up with a blanket. I kid you not. *sigh*

    • I agree Delta was stupid too. It should have been easy enough to post a very diplomatic, amiable, uncontroversial response instead of having a bunch of people improvising on the fly.

      …and as for your porn friend, well, that’s unfortunate. 😉

  3. This is a delicate subject for me, as I am not a mother and do not understand 100% what it is like to feel like my boobs are about to burst, however, I do like your line: Why must everyone but you be courteous?

    Also, I cannot wait for 3-4 years down the road, because you know it’s going to happen, when she makes a formal complaint about how she is flying with her young child and has to shield their eyes from all the women with their boobs out as they breast feed their children and how dare Delta for letting people expose themselves on planes. Calling it.

  4. She’s fucking lying. When you call Delta they tell you the wait time and then call you back. She’s a moron who wanted attention.

  5. Ugh. She sounds like the kind of person who would looooove to get a card like the one below. I find that card kinda creepy because I don’t want strangers admiring me for whipping out a boob. I’d actually prefer looking for somewhere quieter because the kid gets distracted so easily now. He comes off the boob and I spray or drip on my clothes. The cover at least provides something to clean up with.

    By the way, the woman who posted the card on FB is the smug first pregnant woman ever type. She lamented that breasts are *so* sexualized in our society, but she posts plenty of cleavage-laden selfies. (Which is totally okay, but come on!)

    @AmysRandomness:disqus – the best comments I ever got while BFing my son were at my boss’ house. We were there for our little holiday party. Her almost 5 yr old was watching me while I sat in the rocker in her room. She had so many things to say about boobies, how babies get milk, how she will have boobies one day.

    • Haha, yes! I don’t want people noticing one way or the other. And I’m with ya on the spray/dribble. K would always yank the cover off anyway so I stopped bothering with it. Yay, can’t wait to do it all again!

  6. This took me like 5 seconds to find on Delta’s website.

    “Delta fully supports a woman’s right to breast-feed an infant on board Delta and Delta Connection aircraft and in Delta facilities.”
    http://www.delta.com/content/www/en_US/traveling-with-us/special-travel-needs/children.html

    So WTF was the point of the Tweet? How damn lazy are these people that they can’t go to a business’s website for standard information. (Says the person whose job is managing web site content.)

    However, that exact quote above should have been the only reply Delta made back to her, and left it at that.

    • Yeah, the first time we flew with K, we checked the airline’s website for everything from ID requirements, pre-boarding policies, breastmilk storage, etc. to make sure we weren’t going to have any delays. If you’re saavy enough to look up a company’s twitter account, you can get on their website and do some research. And I 100% agree that Delta handled the response poorly. They walked right into that one.

  7. It’s just an identity for some women. If they can’t stir shit up, then what’s the point of identifying themselves as a breastfeeding MOTHER HERO?

    I breastfed without a cover out in public. No one gave a shit, except for my husband. He prefers to eat in private I guess.

  8. I am ALL for breastfeeding, and it seriously doesn’t bother me. Many family members and friends have whipped them out in front of me; I nannied for a woman who would strap on the pump while we gossiped about who knows what. I try not to weigh in on the controversial topic too much, as a (gasp!) non mom. My sister (who practices women’s health) warned me not to because, as she put it, “some breast feeding women are crazy about breast feeding. You don’t want to go up against them.”
    However. This conversation of ours was prompted by an ex – facebook friend’s multiple picture posts of a child sucking on her tit. Like full on mouth-on-mound close up – I saw areola. And it always caught me off guard and was always along side of some article or whatever defending a woman’s right to whip it out in public – so, like this delta ho, trying to stir shit up. After the 3rd time I defriended her and went off on a tangent about modesty and respecting other’s level of comfort, just as you expect them to respect your right to feed your child – like you said, “Why must everyone but you be courteous?”. Not saying hide in a closet – just saying don’t shove it in people’s faces. OR POST CLOSE UPS ONLINE.

    • Yeah, definitely. The breastfeeding selfies strike a nerve with me too because at that point it stops being about the child and becomes all about MEEEEEE. this very small minority of women who feel they have something to prove actually do a DISservice to the rest of us who just want to feed our kids without a lot of fanfare. It’s like how PETA makes people think all animal rights activists are psychos.

  9. I have no patience for that shite. It’s 100% social media attention whoring & I agree that companies need to recognize when they’re being baited like this & have some ready response around it.

  10. I hadn’t heard about this! First, I think tweets like this to businesses in general are ridiculous because, like you said, they usually have some sort of agenda. Since when do you have to tweet companies to get an answer about things?? Just Google it or effing call them.

    Also, I have no experience in the area but don’t think I would ask permission to breast feed. Sure, I would probably be courteous of other people, etc., but you can’t really be told not to do it, right? Also if the baby didn’t like a “cover” (didn’t know what that was before this…), wouldn’t also be about how comfortable she is whipping her boob out on a plane?

    • Exactly, and I think she WANTED to be told not to do it so she could pitch a fit. And she’s certainly comfortable posting breastfeeding selfies on twitter…

  11. I hadn’t heard of any of this but it does sound to me like she was just stirring. This is a solid A+ rant, woman.

  12. I flew with my 3-week old and breastfed on the plane. In the airport. At a bar (seriously). No one said anything. I think the only judgy looks I got were because I ordered a beer to drink while the baby was drinking. (WHAT? HE NEEDED TO EAT AND I WAS FLYING ALONE WITH AN INFANT. HE’LL BE DONE EATING BEFORE THE ALCOHOL HITS MY BREASTMILK!) (I might still be upset about flying alone with an infant.)

    I hate shit-stirrers.

  13. Pingback: hey pregnant women at the gym, nobody cares | Cheaper Than Therapy

  14. Pingback: A Thing I Find Annoying | Life with Lyn

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